Kashibai Peshwe

Part 3- Garbhadhan: The ritual and consummation

Kashibai had butterflies in her stomach as she stood before her mother-in-law. Radhabai, the mother of Bajirao was a formidable woman. As a highly efficient matriarch of the household she ran a tight ship. She was both feared and respected. Her conduct personified the status of a ruling Peshwa's wife. Her approach to the upbringing of both her sons was a combination of compassion and discipline. An avid scholar, she was well versed with the knowledge of administration and she  single-handedly managed the affairs of the state during her husband's involvement in battle campaigns. No one dared to invoke her wrath. Her sons were wary of the severe verbal lashing they would invite from her for any mistakes made. "Even a small error of judgement can imperil the political future of a state!" She would warn them.

"Baisaheb, Matoshree Saheb commands your presence in her chamber!" The maid conveyed the summons. Overwhelmed by the Garbhadhan rituals that had continued well into the afternoon Kashibai the novice was busy unwinding with Rakhmabai, the child bride of Bajirao's younger brother Chimaji. Rakhma was the newest member of the family since her wedding four years ago. Naturally she looked up to Kashibai who showered her with much affection. "Tai, you better hurry up!" She said. Even at her age Rakhma knew that it would be indiscreet to keep the matriarch waiting. Kashibai hurriedly checked her appearance in the looking glass and gathered her brocade shawl about her as she walked toward Radhabai's chamber.

"Sit down Sunbai, now that you are standing at a milestone in your life it is only proper for us to share some insight and give advice to prepare you for your life ahead!" Radhabai was not given to beating around the bush with smalltalk. She dismissed her maids who were hovering nearby and asked the guards not to disturb her until Kashibai stepped out of the chamber. Even though Kashibai was expecting a sermon she felt nervous. "We speak to you as your mother-in-law and as your mother too. Listen carefully and mull on our words, they will help correct your perspective. As you are aware, no marriage is complete unless it is consummated. Rau and you will now begin to live together, may it help to cement your marital bond. Physical attraction will be natural but as a couple you have responsibilities beyond your marital bed." 

Kashi blushed at the mention of the affectionate name for her husband. In her mind she would address him as Rau although to his face she always used the honorific Swami. Ignoring her reaction Radhabai continued to give her counsel. " Marriage brings an obligation of loyalty, both toward one's spouse as well as to the family. A wife must ensure that her husband's goals are integrated with those of the family. As the Kulvadhu your role will be much larger- to take care of everyone including the staff and also to fulfil religious and social obligations. You also have to be a guardian to Chimaji, his wife and their children and are in charge of hospitality offered. The ideal Kulvadhu ensures harmony among the clan members because a family divided will fall like a house of cards, shattering any dreams of a glorious future." 

 "The goal of consummation is to ensure progeny. As the wife of the future Peshwa it is your responsibility to beget healthy children and to bring them up with the values appropriate for potential rulers. Never forget that fidelity is vital to marriage, the intimacy a couple shares is sacrosanct, there cannot be another contender for the same. What happens during a couple's nighttime sojourn is intensely private but it is important to fulfil each other's expectations. Disburse conjugal favours well lest the man looks for gratification elsewhere. If he does so you will not have a moment's peace after that. Hence it is your foremost duty to keep your marriage together. I hope you are listening!" Radhabai paused and looked at Kashibai whose eyes remained glued to the ground.

"Yes, I have heard and understood, Sasubai Saheb!" Came her meek reply. "It will soon be time for bed, have an early dinner and eat lightly. The first time may be a bit challenging, it may bring some physical discomfort but that will pass in time. Go now, and may you beget valiant sons!" Radhabai muttered blessings as Kashi touched her feet in obeisance. As she retreated from the chamber her heart was beating wildly. "Disburse conjugal favours well!" Her mind kept playing Radhabai's words in a loop. What did those words mean? She wondered. She could never dare ask anyone what she was expected to do. The only older married woman in the house was Radhabai. Asking the maids was too undignified and her co-sister Rakhma was barely ten years old.