The Theif (Dan Howell Fanfic)

Chapter 38

Dans P.O.V

As Chloe stood up and asked to use the restroom she didn't look right, she looked like she wasn't all there. I gave her a concerned look and she walked out. When she left everyone looked at me.

"What?" I ask they give me a concerned look and a look that says ' is she okay'

"Look she's been threw alot lately and past she just needs some air." Phil speaks up. Everyone lookes at him with Shock on there face.

"We all 3 have..." Phil says motioning to me and him. I nod. They all look at us in confusion and I can't explain right now what we all 3 went threw. Just the thought of what happened made me shiver.

We get off of subject for a little while as we talk and Chloe doesn't come back.

"In gonna go get c-" I start to say but Zoe stands up.

"I'll get her, if that's okay?" She asked looking at me. I nod at her and she walks off, we all watch her and then go back to conversation about Chloe and how much of a fan she is of Tyler and Conner and Troy. I couldn't push the worry feeling away though.

Chloes P.O.V

After walking away and going to the bathroom I lock the door and slide down the wall onto the floor feeling a thump in my throat. I look at my hands and just start bawling. I can't do it, I cant. Bringing those memories up hurt, they hurt so much that I just cant. My mom was my best friend and I know it's been a few years but it still hurts so so much.

I pull up my sleeve and look at my left wrist. Cut after cut is in there, scared now but a few fresh ones that I did from all the hate. I can't take it, I can't take hate or hurt, love, pain I can't take any of it. I'm so weak.

I start crying harder now getting a huge painful stab in my stomach. Crying really hurts but really helps.

I grab out my emergency butterfly baby pocket knfie and look at it.

Do I want to do this agian? What will Dan say, should I just hide it from him again. I look at the knife, then my wrist then the knife and back at my wrist as I close me eyes and feel the sharp painin my wrist as the knife cuts me. Is this really what my life had become. What if Dan found out, I love and he loves me, but would he still love me when he finds out?

I keep crying and cut agian a few more times till I have 3 new cuts. Its all there is for me to do when I'm like this. It's just so hard. I'm bawling now but holding in the whimpers in case someone hears me. It's so hard. Then I hear a knock and I catch air in my throat as I look up.

"Don't come-" I try to say as normal as possible whithout giving away that I've been crying. I look at my wrist and start to whip up the blood, but it's coming down perfusivlly.

"Its me, Zoe..." she says and I sigh a sigh of relif. I whipe up the blood more as I unlock the door and she comes in. She gaspsand sits next to me. I must have mascara running down my face a look like a clown. I try to his my wrist emeditlly but I was too slow.

"Oh my god....chloe!" She says scared, queietly. I look at her tearing up more. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open and her hand was over her mouth. She looked mortified. I don't blame her.

"Don't tell Dan...p...please dont..." I say as I start to cry agian practically begging. She nodded and lifted up my wrist looking at it.

"Theres....there's so many..." she said flabbergasted. I couldn't help but cry.

"I'm so so sorry, I'm so weak...I can't take this..." I said and fell apart crying harder then I've ever cried in my life. She just holds me while I fall apart in her arms. She is the greatest person ever. As I cry I hear a door close and lock and I assume Zoe closed it.

"Why?.." she ask sounding like she was going to cry.

"I can't take it, these memories, the pain I felt, the pain I put Dan and Phil threw. I just...cant..." I started but couldn't go on.

"I....I started after my mom died and when I meet Dan and Phil it got Better, I....I stopped. Then the other thing happened and I started agian. When I came back to Dan and Phil I....stopped agian but reliving the story I just told...I can't...do it..." I basically begg and cry, I can't do it!

I look up at her and she looks so sad.

"I'm so sorry Chloe...." she said hugging me tighter then before. I cried so much that I litrally couldn't cry anymore, I threw up a few times from all the crying. Me and Zoe talked a little while, trying to get me in a better mood. She asked about the Dan and Phil situation and I told her. She was so schocked and apologized so much.

I basically fell apart. Once I couldn't cry anymore I looked at her with a soft smile.

"Thank you so so much, you don't know how much this means to me..." I said she nodded.

"Of course..." she said and we both stood up.

"I'm okay, I'm just gonna wash up and be out, don't tell anyone what happened." I said as I hugged her giving her a sad smile she nodded and left. Now it was time to look normal agian. I looked at myself in the mirrior. My hair was insane, I had mascara all over the place and blood all on my arm.

I washed the blood off and the mascara. I cover my wrist with my sleeve so no one could see it. Once my face and hair was back to normal I walked out of I the bathroom anxious on approching everyone else.

I walked in and they all looked at me with concern as I gave Zoe a knowing glance as I walked over to Dan not looking or talking to anyone and sat down..

"So, let's get to know eachother a little more." I told Tyler acting like everything was fine but knowing deep down it really wasnt.

A/N such a long chapter. Over 1,000 words, I've never written this much. Right now I'm actully in a study hall at my HighSchool becasue I can't do p.e, I have a bad knee. Anyway, thank you all so much for the support, me being away for so long with personal stuff and you guys still sticking with me. This was a very hard chapter to write so I hope you guys like it. Agian, just thank you all so so much. Love you all!! <3