A Series Of Journal Entries To Give You Crippling Depression

December 6th

           I'm in the car alone crying like a little bitch. I'm being a little bitch about this, it's not like I didn't know this was going to happen but then again I didn't want to know. I knew that my heart would break like that. I was doing my best to spare myself the pain. How is it that I'm not used to it yet? I should be used to it. It happens too often. I need to stop. I need to grow up and get over it. It's not that big of a deal, it's not like anything was happening with us nor was anything going to. I just kind of got my hopes up. I got excited thinking that maybe I had a chance. I should have known I never really did. I mean look at her and look at me. She's a beauty and I'm a beast.
It's just something about her that made me want to stay, hold on to her tight, make her feel special. Maybe that's just me having being lustful or maybe it's just me wanting someone for myself. All I am sure about is how I feel towards her. I feel something different with her. I can be who I am. I don't have to change who I am for her. She likes me for who I am, not for I would pretend to be. I'm obsessing over this when I shouldn't be. All that should matter to me s that she's happy. As long as he's treating her right and taking care of her and making her happy, that's all I should care about. Even if it's not with me... I want her with someone who is good for her. Someone who will make her smile. If he makes her happy, then so be it. I just hope everything goes good for her and him...