Joe's POV:
I speed walk down the hallway anxiously. My heart is pounding a million times a second and my stomach is tied up in knots. It's right in the middle of 5th period, so literally no one is in the halls. I burst out the door at the end of a long corridor and pick up a light jog. My backpack bounces behind me so I pull the straps tight against my chest.
Jason asked me to meet him outside behind the tennis courts. I have no idea why, but I'm really hoping it's something about the dance next week. I wasn't going to ask him, because he doesn't want to tell everybody about us yet, but you never know. Maybe he wants to go out or something, which would be even better.
We've been like this since the end of last year. Our parents our best friends, so we spent most of the summer together in his parents house in Florida. It's sort of like a villa and we shared a room separated from the rest of the house. That's when I found out he was gay. We were both laying in bed, wide awake in the dark when he just blurted it out. I haven't officially come out to him yet, but I don't think he expects me to.
I spot him at the edge of the woods. He's sitting down and doing something on his phone.
"Hey!" I greet him. He looks up and smiles.
"Hey. Thanks for coming out."
"No problem. You said you wanted to tell me something?" I sit down next to him so our shoulders are touching.
"Oh yeah," he replies, fidgeting with a piece of grass. "So about us..."
My heart rate picks up and I think I forget how to breath. I manage to squeak out a "yeah?" and he continues.
"So I've been thinking about us. And what we have. And I just kinda want to get your thoughts."
I nod slowly, hoping this is something good and he doesn't want to stop seeing me.
"I just wanted to get your opinion. So what are we? Like a couple or?" I stop and think. I honestly have no idea. I always liked the idea of being in a serious relationship with him, but I sort of assumed that would never happen. However, I like the looseness of what we're doing now. We're sort of like friends with benefits, which is nice.
"I'm not sure," I finally reply. "What do you think?"
He adverts my eyes and plays with his shoes. "I, um, kind of like the whole not completely attached thing." I can see him sweating.
"What do you mean?" I ask slowly.
He sighs before saying, "Like we don't worry about feelings. In relationships you have to worry about talking and stuff and I'm not too good at that. I'm better at just hooking up in the bathroom or something. I just didn't want you to think I would be interested in a serious relationship."
All this information runs through my head, not quite connecting. So I'm just an object to him? You've got to be kidding.
I roll my eyes and scoff at him. "You can't be serious."
He looks at me with sad eyes and that's when I know he's serious. "Joe, I'm sorry, I'm just not into the whole boyfriend thing."
I shake my head in disbelief. Where on Earth did this come from? I stand up, adjusting my backpack before I turn and start to leave. Tears threaten to spill over and Jason call out for me. I hear him stand up and jog towards me, but I just pick up my pace and keep my head down.
"Joe, baby, I'm sorry ok! I just didn't want you to be hurt!" I wipe my eyes and try to make the blur go away.
"Go away Jason," I respond. He finally catches up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. I shake it off and walk even faster.
"Baby, please don't leave. Look I can make this up to you. Whenever you need it."
I'm running now and tears are streaming down my face. I really thought we had something too. How could I be so stupid.
"Joe, come on be sensible! It would have never worked anyway!"
I wish he would just shut up. And then fall into a hole. And die.
"Daddy come on, you know you'll never be able to resist me. Just meet me later and we can resolve all of this."
I can hear the bell screeching and I'm almost to the doors.
He runs up to me and tries to take my hand. I spin around on my heels in furry.
"I told you to fuck off Jason. Don't talk to me anymore."
