Snuff

Chapter 17

"You sure that you want to do this baby?"Ashley says to me as we're laying in bed. I looked at him and nodded. He sighs and kissed my forehead. "Well I know you'll be strong. I'll be right at the benches while you give your speech." He smiles and held my naked body in his arms. I ran my fingers through his hair, twirling his hairs around my finger. 

It was 3:00 PM, when Ashley and I arrived at the church. Her dad started her ceremony at 3:30, a little later than most funerals because it was different. Claudia would of liked her funeral later than usual. I felt uncomfortable to be here. So many people, who I had no idea of, crowding around her casket. Where her opened casket laid. I'm to scared to go near her. I couldn't bare it. 

When the ceremony started, we had a moment of silence. Nobody prayed. Her father called me up to the pedestal. I took a deep breath, Ashley patted my back and kissed my cheek. I clutched on to my speech and walked up, setting it down and her father stood beside me. I looked down at the words I wrote and cleared my throat.  

"Back when, Claudia and I were young.. Maybe 14 or 15 years old. We always used to dream of places we would travel to.. And we always told each other that no matter what, we will find our way back to one another. She said, we will be close. We will never lose what we have. Because if we ever did, than there was no point in living. I didn't expect to be here, almost 10 years later.. I didn't expect to be giving a speech about her death, about how I will never see her again. I didn't think that I would be saying goodbye." I took a deep breath and continued speaking. "About a while back, Claudia and I got into an argument. I took my things and moved out. That argument turned into us no longer talking. The thing about Claudia is.. she never truly believed she cared. She never gave any thought about other people's feelings. When I left, that side of her that she hid had started to show. She started to show she really cared. And as soon as she proved she really cared, she died. I didn't get to say the goodbye to her, the way it was supposed to really happen. I never told her I loved her, or that I'm not mad at you.. I left her alone. But as she started caring, she sunk into a downward spiral being the reason I left.. And.. and I wish I hadn't left her alone sinking.." I started tearing up. "She was my best friend, and my partner in crime. I only wish I could get these days back that I had with you. I just want my best friend back."I sniffled. "When we were 17 years old, a man came to visit. He said he was Claudia's biological father. His name was Grant. She spent the day with him and she got to know this missing part of her heart. She liked seeing her father. She saw him for 4 months before our organization moved buildings across the country.. and when we were eligible to leave and be on our own, she had tried to look for him. But couldn't. She was absolutely devastated and I only wish she had been able to see her father." I looked at Grant. "She really truly loved you." Then I continued on. "Claudia had gotten herself into a bit of trouble. Whether it was with boys, or college. She had always seemed to be in trouble. That was her calling. Trouble. It followed her everywhere. She never could escape it. I am just glad she's in a better place now.. although I miss her so much. I know she'll be causing trouble up in the clouds." I finished. I stepped off the podium and felt my heart sink as I seen the tip of her forehead in her casket. Everyone else carried on with the ceremony, as I walked over to her and leaned over looking. My eyes swell up with tears and I look at once stood before me, laughing and being herself. I hate that she's gone. I hate that she was ripped from life. She didn't deserve this. Now I'm here, gazing at her dead body. My heart had fallen apart. Tears opened their gate and fled down my cheeks and my head just filled with agony, sadness and the most depressing feeling of sadness I had ever felt. I may of been depressed 3 weeks ago when she passed, but nothing compared to what I felt now. I looked over at Ashley sitting and paying attention to Claudia's father as he spoke to the crowd about the daughter he barely got to see. I couldn't take it anymore. I walked out of the room, and outside. Got into my car, and drove off. 

I needed space, I needed to clear my head. I needed to get away from the church as fast as I could. I turned onto the highway, and drove down the long road. My chest filled with anxiety, my cheeks a teared mess. I felt torn inside. I couldn't feel my body. Before I knew it, there was a red light. And a truck came driving towards me. My eyes widen, I slam on the breaks and the airbag slams into my face before I could even see the truck smashing into my car. My seat belt tightened around my body, I gasped for air and I screamed. My car flew back into the guard rail and flipped entirely. My vision went black. 

Was I dead? I don't know. I couldn't see anything, nor feel a damn thing. I couldn't move my mouth. I have zero idea of what is going on other than the fact that I just got into an accident. I can only think. What the fuck is happening?!?! I'm scared out of my mind. I just want to be home with Ashley. Oh shit.. Ashley.. No no-no please DO NOT be dead!!! Mila you can't leave him! Don't you dare leave him. WAKE THE FUCK UP MILA!!!

I could hear the sounds of sirens blaring all around me, the sounds of metal scraping the concrete. I can hear "There's a body in here!!!! Get a EMT over here quick!!" 

WTF WAS I DEAD??

"Let's pull her out!" Someone said and I heard the sound of ripping, tearing. I could hear my body being pulled out of a pool of blood. 

Oh god.. I'm dead aren't I?

"Feel for a pulse."...."Anything?"....."Yes! Yes she's alive! Small pulse! A small pulse!!."...."Find a cellphone and call whoever is on speed dial. We need to get her to a hospital. Load up the ambulance!!."

Thank god I'm alive. 

"I think she has her boyfriend for speed dial." There was silence. "Hello? Yes. This is Officer Hendrickson, There was an accident and we are calling from the phone of the person involved... Sir, sir calm down she is alive. Mila is fine sir please calm down! She is only unconscious. Please if you will meet us at Krestfall Hospital? Great see you- oh he hung up." 

I wish I could see what was happening, I wish I didn't act like a fucking dumb ass and get myself into this situation. I can't believe what I caused Ashley. Great fucking pain. I can't.. Just let me see him. 

I could hear me being rolled out of the ambulance and into the hospital, where a nurse took me and I could hear machines and them putting a mask on my face. "Hold on honey.."The nurse was saying to  me. "Dr. Martin this girl, Mila Simms. Involved in an accident on highway 508. She has a collapsed lung, a broken leg, some head damage. Blood pouring out of her stomach. She needs immediate surgery."

"Let  me see her head."The Doctor said. "She's suffering from a coma. A pretty nasty one. 

All of a sudden, I heard screaming. "SIR THEY ARE PREFORMING AN EXAM ON THE PAITENT YOU NEED TO WAIT IN THE WAITING ROOM-" 

"I DONT FUCKING CARE! THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND!  I NEED TO SEE HER! MILA! MILA BABY IT'S ASHLEY PLEASE!!! WAKE UP PLEASE! I NEED YOU BABY!!!"

"SIR YOU NEED TO LEAVE!" and the door slams shut. 

If I could baby, I would.