One addiction , one person .
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67 pills . 67 pills you had .
5 days . 5 days you've had them .
3 left . You had 3 left .
You knew of the side effects .
Warnings . From people around you .
" This medication is a benzodiazepine "
" It's highly addictive . You have a past of misusing medications ... correct ? "
In your head you think " yeah . I do ." " No . I've never misused anything . "
You replied .
You've had the pills 5 days .
5 fucking days .
There's 3 of them left !
You never knew anyone ever seen the bottle .
Little do you know , some people pay attention to you .
They notice how they warned you of the side effects .
" This medication has a side effect of suicidal thoughts or actions . "
" Depression "
They noticed how when they mentioned those two phrases .
That you mumbled " When does that not happen "
...
" While taking this medication , see how it affects you , before operating machinery "
You swerve while driving .
" You may have a feeling of anesthesia , or forgetfulness . "
You seem out of it .
It makes you unsteady .. especially of you take 12.8 .. 13 of them a day .
Now your eyes are dialated .
Black holes of darkness , fill your eyes full .
They noticed how you keep losing your Balance .
Keep saying " I don't feel right . "
They notice you . They notice .
They notice how you've become oblivious .
They notice how you've became short with everyone , constantly agitated .
However , they shall not speak .
Their voice becomes volanterrily mute .
Their eyes look away much quicker then yours do .
Their ears do not hear . For they choose to stay closed .
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Another person , another addiction
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" One time , one time I'll try it "
You waited , flicked the needle .
Injected it into your veins .
" Holy shit ! Woah , that was a rush "
You want to do it again .
So .. In your head ... your mind is running a hundred miles an hour .
As you fill it with the poison .
" This is the best experience I've ever had "
It begins taking over .
" I'll just cheat on her , I'll just cheat once . "
You tell your wife you're going to run to the store .
You go , have your affair .
" Damn , this is exactly what I want "
You get caught .
You get left .
Turns out .. she's insane .
" I'll run away from here , I'll just run away once .
You get in the car .
Inside your head ..
" I can't wait to get my rush when i find it . "
You drive away .
" I'll just get with her , she'll just share the needle once , maybe I can steal it "
She does it , injects the poison into your veins , her vein , then her sons vein .
You there the entire time .
Blood flowing 200× faster then what it should be .
" I can't take it anymore , I'll attempt suicide once . Just once . "
After all the things you've done .
Your 15 year old stood beside you in the hospital .
You beat your legs with a stick . Trying to feel a different kind of pain .
& you still survived ...
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Another person , another addiction
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The burns . The pain . Fading .
You hold the lighter , burning flame .
In your hands for a minute .. or two .
You make sure the medal is hot .
Then you push the medal into your skin .
Holding your mouth shut with your free hand .
So you dont gasp out loud .
You do it once more .
Enjoying the pain you've inflicted .
You enjoy the burns .
Running your fingers across your skin .
Continuously .
You go numb .
You go numb ..
You feel better .
" once more tomorrow "
You say to yourself ...
You put the lighter down .
Hiding it from everyone .
It's your safe place ...
Your security .
You lay your head on your pillow .
Close your eyes .
& drift to sleep .
You think it will never be discovered .
The marks on your skin .
One day someone notices , but you still do it again .
Telling them you stopped .
You dont feel that way anymore .
They are gullible to believe your okay .
Your skin is burning strongly , because you've done it again .
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Another person ... Another addiction .
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You line up the blade , so it'll cut straight .
You're becoming trapped in your head , it's already late .
You think to yourself .
" Quick escape . Quick relief . Quick blood flow "
You push it to your skin .
Close your eyes .
& you drew the thin lines of your past on yourself .
Dotted red lines , telling your life story .
That no one will ever see .
No one will never ask about them .
No one would care anyways ...
You do it again ..
It's a habit .
Similar to how smokers must have their nicotine for a head rush .. a " high . "
Your mother has no clue of the things you do inside your room when alone with your thoughts .
Your sister , tries to get you to talk to her ... yet you don't speak a word .
They all start to notice .. how you've become distant , blocking them out .
You take it , line it up vertically . & pull back .
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One more , one more addiction .
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You started drinking at the age of 13 .
You enjoyed the burn it laid inside your throat .
You enjoyed the hot , then the cool .
You started to love the taste .
You become older , drinking on the daily .
You feel relieved .
You lose so much feeling .
So much of your problems fade .
It all goes blank .
Your mind doesn't think anymore .
It doesn't focus .
It's a calm .
A stress reliever .
A blanket over your feelings .
The grass to cover your dirt .
A curtain over your open windows .
...
One more addiction .
