All night Louis laid awake.
His mind was plagued with thoughts. Not necessarily about the curly haired boy next to him, but about everything. Life in general, more like.
Nothing too bad, nothing too good. He found his mind wandering to the events of the day and how they played out. Would Harry have gone through with it? Louis didn't like to think about the answer– he knew the possibility of Harry going through with his plan was high. He wondered: how could someone's life be so bad that they would rather end it?
Suppose you got bullied and your step-father was an outright dick towards you, why would you want to take your own life? To Louis, it sounded like you were just letting the bullies win. Ending your life – the precious gift that was made just for you – was so absurd to him. Bullies shouldn't get that drastic of a reaction out of you. Louis always thought that the best way to get back at bullies was to beat them– kill them with kindness, if you will.
Back in his younger grades, Louis would get bullied for dressing in flamboyant clothes and having his hair styled every day. Whenever the bullies would laugh at Louis for his outfit, Louis would laugh with them. Whenever they called him an ugly name, Louis would come back with a polite (yet totally sassy) response that would throw them for a loop.
Beating bullies was so easy for him. Maybe it's just his personality, or how his brain works. He can only imagine what it must be like Harry. Not only having to deal with bullies at school, but having to deal with the bullies within his own mind.
Having your every thought invaded by unwelcome guests is hard. But having your every thought twisted against you is unimaginable to Louis. His mind was always something that he found peace in – just sitting down with a nice cuppa and thinking about everything, it was a peaceful pass time that Louis loved. To have that comfort and peace twisted nine times out of ten must be so draining. Mentally, physically, emotionally, just so draining.
No matter what, no matter how hard you try, how matter how happy you've been, a single thought can be twisted to make you feel like complete shit.
Not only that, but Harry's personality disorder is a whole new level that Louis didn't know if he was ready for. But he's going to try, because Harry at least deserves that. He deserves someone to try for him, to try and help him, to try and understand to the best of their knowledge and try as hard as they can to make him feel good.
Having no control of your feelings is so unfathomable to Louis that he doesn't even know where to start in order to help. Though he figures Google might be his best bet.
Trying his best not to wake Harry, Louis is careful in his efforts to free his right arm and grab his phone that was still in his pocket. Once the item is retrieved, Louis places his thumb over the home button and waits for it to unlock before tapping on the Safari app.
Personality Disorders is the first thing he looks up. Being met with endless results in under a second is overwhelming to the boy, but he wants to do everything he can to better understand Harry's disorder.
per•son•al•i•ty dis•or•der
noun
a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behavior of a specified kind, typically manifest by the time one reaches adolescence and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.
The more Louis searches, he finds a website that explains how to help a loved one with a personality disorder. Since the spectrum of different types of disorders is very wide, the websites all suggest that you take your loved one to get diagnosed.
There's so many different types. Louis scrolls and scrolls and scrolls through the list, checking the symptoms of each disorder until he stops at one.
Borderline Personality Disorder
The symptoms line up with that Louis has noticed in Harry and from what the boy has told him that Louis feels confident in this.
The only problem now is getting Harry to agree to see someone about his disorder and help to professionally diagnose him.
...
737 words.
Written: 1/5/16
Updated: 06/09/18
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Therapy // Larry AU ✔️
FanfictionHarry has a personality disorder that causes him to lose control of his own mind sometimes. His best friend is over it and doesn't want to be around him anymore. In walks Louis, a cutie who just moved in down the street and finds harry outside one...
