CAPTIVE

CHAPTER 15

Dedicated to @zainababdullahilawal ❤

Bilal's POV

I fight the urge to crumble down at the sight in front of me. Lying there on the bed is Maryam. Not the Maryam I know though. The Maryam in front of me is just skin and bones. It's hard to believe it's the same Maryam I know. When did she become so thin? Was I that absent minded that I didn't realize how bad she looked? I can't see her face from where I am. She is facing the window. The nurse next in fondling with the different wires and tubes connected to her body and other machines. I've only seen these type of machines in movies. I never thought one day the love of my life would be connected to such machines and the saddest part is I played major role in causing all this. The only machine I can recognize is the heart monitor by her right. It has little zig zags on the screen. Her heart beat must be really low.

The nurse notices me and nods her head at me as a form of greeting. She works towards me with a little smile on her face.

"You can go in Mr Bilal". I look at her and smile.

"Has she said anything since she woke up?". I just have to know.

"No she hasn't". With that she leaves.

I take in a deep breathe and get ready for whatever is yet to come.

I walk in slowly. I stand by her bed confused. What am I meant to do or say? Right before I open my mouth, she feels my presence and turns around. She winces slightly as her bandages head rubs the pillow.

She looks at me with no form of recognition in her eyes. Her eyes hold no emotion. I'm not sure if that's meant to make me feel good or bad. Before this happened the only emotion her eyes help when she looked at me was hate. Well, not really hate but it was hard to fathom the emotion it held. But one thing I knew was that it was definitely not love.

I turn to look at her big brown eyes. Maryam always had beautiful eyes. They were the first thing I noticed the first time I saw her. But right now they just feel cold. She has dark circles beneath her eyes. It was easy to see her deep eye sockets. I use that moment to stare at her. She was under a blanket but I couldn't even see the outline of her body. If her head was covered with the blanket, no one would know there was anyone in the bed. That's how thin she looked. She must have starved her self so bad.

I clear my throat. Thinking of the right words to say. "Hey". That sounded so lame. Of all things for me to say. I mentally smack my head.

She takes a while to register me in before she replies. "Hi"

Alhamdulilah. Her speech is alright. I feel a wash of relief. Then it hits me. Wait. That means she might not even know who I am.

At that moment she starts coughing very bad. I reach out to help her sit up in bed. As soon as my hand touches her arm, she stops and looks at me. Her eyes looks alarmed almost scared. She pauses for a while before her heart monitor starts beeping loudly and she snatches her arm away from me shouting loudly.

She pulls her hand so hard that the tubes attached to her hand giving her liquids comes off. She holds her head tight and keeps screaming. The noise is deafening. I try to calm her down but the more i touch her, the more she screams.

Before I can do anything, the room is filled with different nurses and I'm pushed out.

I watch by the window as the hassle in the room increases.

I watch from the window as she keeps on shouting.

I watch from the window as I realize it was my touch that caused all this.

I keep on watching, rooted on that spot by the window, till my vision becomes blurry and I can no longer see what is going on.

It is then I realize I'm crying and let the guilt wash over me. Again.