CAPTIVE

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER5

I'mso confused. I don't know what to do or where to go. All my friends are inschool and I don't have friends outside school. I don't even know who my neighborsare. That is the disadvantage of living in Lagos.

 I'm scared of walking alone in the dark andbeing a victim of what happened earlier on again. Since when did my life becomeso complicated? Yes, when Baba decided to marry me off to his 'new' friend.Before all this, my biggest worry was what to wear or what to eat.

"Mamana! Mama na!" I am stopped with Malam Abudu running after me. But I ignore him.The last thing I need is another person telling me it was my fault.

"WaitI need to talk to you. I want to help you." My subconscious tells me to wait soI do.

"Mamana where will you go this late? It is 1am. You can stay with me. No one willknow. We can figure something out." I stare at him thinking of what to say. DoI want to spend the night at our gate-man's room? Definitely No! But I'vestopped doing what I want to actually and do what I need to. So I follow himback home not uttering a word.

Wewalk in silence. Abudu left the gate open so I didn't need to worry about thegate making noise. He opens the door to his room. To my surprise his room isvery neat. Everything has been kept organized. I've never been in this roombefore. What would I be doing in here anyway?

"Doyou want to bath?"  I would have said nobut considering how neat his room is, the toilet should be neat too.

Inod slowly.

Heshows me the way to his toilet. I can't believe I did not know where his toiletwas. I've lived here for thirteen years. How can't I know where the toilet is?I need to start paying attention to things. The toilet is very clean. I can'tbelieve how neat it is. Malam Abudu must be a really neat man. Thinking back Irealize I've never seen him in dirty clothes. He was always clean and notsmelly. He leaves me to take my bath.

Iuse the time to think about all that happened. Then I remember the dream I had.It's so weird. I still remember it vividly. I don't remember dreams after awhile, but this dream keeps on playing in my head. As I turn on the shower andclose my eyes, I hear baba's voice,

"Help me Hanni. Help me."

It'salmost as if he is in the toilet with me. I open my eyes quickly. I can't dothis to myself. I can't keep pushing these thoughts away. I know my Baba.Something must be wrong. I need to find answers and fast. If my family wasn'twilling to tell me anything, I will find answers myself.

Iquickly wash up and step out of the shower. Great! I didn't have a towel. Isigh and wear my tattered clothes again. It's not like I had an option. I rushback to Malam Abudu's room. It was very cold. He wasn't in the room when Ientered but I noticed a set of clothes on the mattress. Then I heard the knockon the door.

"Comein" my voice sounded like a whisper. That was the first thing I said since thelittle incident. I shiver at the thought of those men's hands on me. I quicklypush the thought to the back of my head.

MalamAbudu slowly works into the room. "Mama na I left those clothes for you. Youshould change into them."

Ilook at the clothes. How did he get them? They look new. As if he read mythoughts, he answers my question.

"Itwas meant for my daughter. It was her Sallah (Eid) Clothes. But at the momentyou need it more." He says looking at the ground.

"Youhave a daughter my age?"

"Yes,Hadiza. She is also writing WAEC this year" Not also, I might not even writethe WAEC. I nod at him and he leaves the room.

Ichange into the clothes. Surprisingly it fits perfectly. The only thing wasthat it was a bit long. I'm not surprised. I quite short. Quite? Mysubconscious mocks me. Okay I'm very short. That's why I looked good with Mubarak'stall frame. Mubarak?! I shouldn't be thinking about him. I know it's not goingto be easy considering he was my first love, but I have to at least try. Hewasn't worth it.