Forgiven

Chapter 6

I didn't speak, I just stared at him blankly as the rain hammered down onto both of us.

I have no idea what he's doing here, I guess he must of been released early. At this point I don't even care.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I had no idea you'd be here. I just wanted to pay my respects before I head home." He says as he eyes me warily.

"Go ahead knock yourself out, no one gives a shit about my feelings anyway." I say bitterly as I walk away.

I trudge through the rain back to my car, and am relieved that Adam didn't try to stop me.

I've never felt so low in my life and I can't deal with his apologies right now.

It won't change anything.

Once back in my car I remove my drenched jacket and pull on a jumper I had thrown on the back seat. I turn the key in the ignition to start my car but nothing. I persistently try to start it again and again but the battery seems to be flat.

"Shit" I groan as I rest my head against the steering wheel.

I'm not sure how long I sit there, but I'm startled by a tapping on my window. I look up suddenly and curse when I see Adam standing there. Unable to put my window down, I open the door and step outside.

"Car trouble?" He asks.

"Yep, my day's getting better and better" I say sarcastically.

"Can I give you a ride home?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'd rather walk." I say sounding like a complete bitch, but I'm beyond caring about other people's feelings.

I grab my bag from the passenger seat and lock up my car.

"Bye Adam" I say as I start to walk away.

"Mrs Harrison, please! it's just a ride home. I can't just drive away knowing your walking home by yourself in the dark."

"Listen Adam, I'm a big girl and I'm not your problem. Please just leave me alone."

I make my way out of the cemetery and head for the main road.

I'm completely wet through and if he'd been anyone else I would of welcomed a ride home.

As I reach the town a car pulls up a longside me, I know it's him but I refuse to look or slow down. I just keep walking as he idles along beside me.

"Mrs Harrison, I know you hate me, and you have every right.

But please just get in the car, let me drop you home and then I'll be on my way." He shouts through his open window.

"Which part of no did you not understand" I scream at him.

"And stop with the Mrs Harrison will you, my name is Danielle."

He surprises me by pulling over and getting out of the car. He opens the passenger side door and gestures for me to get in.

Frozen to the bone and knowing it's the only way I'll get rid of him, I sigh as I begrudgingly climb in.

He gets back in and pulls away. He has the heating on and the warmth inside the car almost sends me to sleep. There's an awkward silence as neither of us knows what to say and I'm beginning to wish I'd just walked. Nine months ago I would of clawed this man's eyes out if I'd had the opportunity to be this close to him. But now I just feel numb.

"I live on queens avenue" I say breaking the silence.

"It's just up here on the right" I say.

He nods but still he doesn't speak.

Once we pull up outside my house I mumble a thanks and go to step out of the car. Adam stops me by grabbing my arm and I look at him waiting for what he has to say.

"Um, I just want to say I'm so sorry for everything. You have no idea how sorry I am and if there's anything that I can do for you or your daughter, please don't hesitate to ask" He says sincerely.

" With all due respect, I think you've done enough," I snap back.

He doesn't argue, how can he. Nothing he ever says will make this better. My life's in ruins because of his actions.

"Look you don't have to take this but if ever there's anything I can do please call me." He says.

He hands me a card with his phone number on it. I stare at it debating whether or not I should take it, but I put it in my bag without another word and close the car door behind me.

Without looking back I head inside my house and strip off my wet clothes as I make my way upstairs to my room.

I send my mum a quick text rather than ring her as I'm not ready for her interrogation just yet.

I climb into bed, pull the duvet up to my ears and cry my heart out. All these years I'd put Michael up on a pedestal, only to now find out he wasn't the person I thought he was. My marriage was based on lies, My husband, my best friend even my mother in law had been lying to me without any regard for my feelings. I sob uncontrollably into my pillow as I sink into a depression I might never recover from.