Forgiven

chapter 2

It's been two weeks since Michael's funeral and today's Olivia's first day back at school. I know she's nervous about it and I'd love nothing more than to keep her home with me, but it's time to try and get back into a routine. She needs to spend time with her friends and live as a teenager should. Michael would never want her to be cooped up in her room crying constantly.  

I on the other hand have gone past the point of tears, now all I feel is anger. I'm angry at everyone, Mel because she's constantly trying to cheer me up with her stupid attempt at humour, she's always fussing around me and trying to get me to leave the house. I love her dearly and I know she means well, but I just want to be left alone. I'm angry at Michael for going away that weekend and getting himself killed. I'm pissed at his mum for being able to cope with everything better than I can.  

I know Olivia's been calling her when she needs someone to talk too, and I don't blame her. I've been an absolute mess, and I know all of these thoughts and feelings are completely irrational but I can't seem to get a grip.  

With Olivia at school I've decided that today I'm going to try and pull myself together, starting with a nice hot bath.  

I sniff my armpit as I strip off my clothes, "Jesus Christ" I mutter to myself, I smell like I've been living down a sewer for the past month, no wonder Olivia's been avoiding me like the plague I think to myself. I slip into the bubbly bath and lay my head back.  

With my hair washed and my back scrubbed I start to feel a little more human. I hear a light tapping on my bathroom door and jump up quick to cover myself.  

"Dannie are u in there" I hear Mel's voice and breathe a sigh of relief as I sit back down in the tub.

"I'm in the bath I'll be out in a minute".

"Shall I go put the kettle on then?" She asks.

I can hear the uncertainty in her voice which makes me feel terrible. I know she was only trying to help yesterday and I've been a complete bitch to her.

" Sure I could use a cuppa. And Mel, I'm really sorry about yesterday I don't deserve you."

"No you don't" she laughs " but I love you so your stuck with me". Now hurry up and get yourself downstairs, I thought I could help you clean up the house today."  

When I get downstairs Mel's busy hoovering and dusting in the living room so I make a start on the washing up. When we're done I smile at how clean my house looks, I don't think it's ever been so tidy, and its amazing how much lighter I feel having got up and actually done something productive today.

"Can I talk to u about something "? Mel asks nervously as we sit down for a coffee.

"Of course, what is it"? I say.

I already know what she's going to say because the police rang me yesterday. They called to tell me that the guy who killed Michael is being charged with dangerous driving.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I screamed into the phone.

"That man destroyed our lives and that's it?! That's all he's being charged with?".

They explained to me that the guys name is Adam Davis, he's twenty nine, He was driving up to manchester to visit his two year old son after having just finished a night shift, he'd just dozed off for a second, and was jolted awake by the impact of the crash. I was absolutely livid, I didn't care about his circumstances or exscuses. He'll more than likely be out of prison within two years possibly less with good behaviour. It's just not fair, the justice system is a joke. What about my family, my daughter that has to grow up without her father.