Losing Hope (Markle)

Chapter 7

"Bay window, bay window right now." Riley whispered. Maya nodded and allowed her friend to pull her into the other room. That sat down close together and Maya found herself unable to look at her friend. She knew how betrayed and upset Riley must feel because Maya hadn't told her. Maya remembered how she had felt when Riley was the one being bullied. And Maya also knew that it would be tearing Riley apart that she couldn't fix this for her. Maya hated that she was causing her friend extra pain. "Peaches..." Riley gripped her chin and brought Maya's face towards her, a gesture that she had done time and time again.

"I'm sorry Riley..." Maya started, a tear falling from her eye. Riley quickly brushed it away and shushed her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Maya, nothing at all." Riley hugged her close. Maya eagerly leaned into the embrace, a weight she hadn't even known she was carrying lifted off of her shoulders.

"I love you Riles, you know that?"

"Always, and I love you too." Riley pulled back and took Maya's hand. "Can I just ask you one thing Peaches?"

"Whatever you want" Maya said with a smile

"Yesterday, Farkle said that you were waiting on his doorstep for hours, why did you go there? Why not-" Riley cut herself off, giving Maya a nervous look.

"You're asking why I didn't come to you?" Maya prodded

"We've always been able to tell each other anything Maya, before anyone else. Why was this time different?"

"Because..." Maya debated whether or not to tell Riley the whole truth, she eventually decided that it was best. They were growing older, her friend had matured, and she could stand to hear truths like this now. "Because times are changing. We are growing up, and with that comes a lot more responsibilities. You have been so busy with your AP classes, and applying to college, and Lucas, that I felt..." Maya cut off, knowing that her next words would hurt her friend.

"You felt like I didn't have time for you?" Riley spoke the words softly. "Maya, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if anything that I have been doing recently has given you any indication that you were not first in my life, because you always are and always will be. No matter what is going on in my life, I will always be here for you. Do you hear me?" Riley put her hands on Maya's shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. Maya knew that Riley meant every word that she said, but it still didn't stop Maya from feeling guilty. One of the reasons why she hadn't told Riley was because she knew that Riley would drop everything to come to her rescue, and their lives were more complex than that now.

"Riley, that's the problem. You can't always drop everything to save me. I am damaged, I am always going to need saving in one way or another, but you need to live your life. I don't know what I would do if I risked your future."

"Maya, my future means nothing if you aren't whole, happy, and present in it. I know that as long as we are together, everything will turn out alright."

"Sweetie, you know by now that you can't wish your way to happy results. And we won't always be together, we may very well end up at colleges far away from each other. You've been turning the world upside down for me every time I got in trouble since the day we met. That has to stop. You have other priorities. You have college, you have your boyfriend, you have your future. You can't risk it all for me anymore."

"And this all from the girl who didn't want me to change the bay window." Riley had tears streaming down her face. Maya hated causing her friend grief, but these things needed to be said.

"Well, people change, and people grow up. We have to accept that." Maya reached up to brush away Riley's tears but her friend pulled away.

"No," Riley stood up and faced Maya, "I will never accept that life will change so much that I will not be able to still help you."