Away

; fears

My mother once said to me that i should find someone who loves me more than i love them. All this time, i've always been the one who loves more— or maybe that's what i thought.

The day you told me you loved me, i became hesitant. I didn't reply right away, though i knew what my answer would be. I knew it long before you said it to me. I was scared that i was going to be the one who loves more, but that was when i looked into your eyes and i found sincerity. I always knew you were a liar, Jeonghan, but your eyes weren't. Your eyes had always told me things you didn't want to. You eyes were honest.

"Do you not feel the same way?"

I guess you noticed the hesitation in me, but i didn't say a thing. I kept holding your hand as i tried to hold myself back for saying the three words i've been dying to say. How could i not feel the same way? I was afraid, Jeonghan. I was afraid that i might love you more.

I was only scared of the heights before i met you, Jeonghan. And i thought it was already cured when we were on the rooftop. But that day i realized, i was scared of so many things when i'm with you.

And what scared me the most was my mother's words, and how i could never do what she told me to. I didn't love you more than you loved me, Jeonghan. I'm afraid, i loved you more than i loved myself.