Away

; flowers (v day special)

You said you don't celebrate Valentines day, but on February 14, you gave me flowers. The flowers you gave me were unusual to my eyes because i had never seen those flowers before. They were purple, my favorite color. Without even knowing the name, i love the flowers you gave me.

You never answered me when i asked you the name of my favorite flower. You would just reply with a smile, kissing my head gently and you whispered something that time. Something that i thought didn't have any meaning but it actually meant a lot.

"You don't always know everything about your favorite things."

You were my most favorite Jeonghan yet i didn't know everything, right?

I remember the time i found out the name of my favorite flower. I was on my way to your place and found a little flower shop a few blocks away. I didn't know what got into me that i went into the shop. I don't really like flowers, but i still needed to know the name of my favorite.

So i asked the florist the second i spotted the familiar purple flower. I asked her what was the name and what did it mean. Her smile soon died as she saw me excitedly waiting for her answer.

"It means sorry, begging for forgiveness, sorrow."

And from that moment, even until now, i hate flowers. I always refuse to hold a bouquet of flowers if someone ask me to. I thought that with you going away for good would finally decrease my fears, but you added one more. I'm scared of flowers. Of its meaning.

A week after your funeral was Valentines day, i was asked to help your family clean your old place and i couldn't say no. My cousin and i went to help them move your things. Your mother said she missed you and that she was glad i dated you. I'm glad your mother likes me. Even though we broke up and you're no longer here, your mother still asks about me sometimes.

Your mother told me to go to your room for the last time. And i did what she said. I went to your almost empty room. It felt unfamiliar now that the bed wasn't there, and you weren't there. I could still smell your scent as i closed my eyes, reminiscing the times we had spent in that room. When i opened my eyes, i turned around to see flowers placed on your desk. As much as i wanted to leave them there, i couldn't.

I walked closer to the desk and saw my used-to-be favorite flower. It was dead. I guess you forgot to water them just like how you forgot about me. But next to it was a flowerpot with a different flower in it. It was pink-colored flowers, the color i hated the most. There was a note on the flowerpot and without a doubt, i opened it. I smiled at your messy handwriting, but soon turned to frown as i read what you wrote.

It means goodbye.

And i knew exactly it was for me when i saw my name written on the bottom of the flowerpot. I never thought i'd hate something so much. I hate the color pink. I hate goodbyes. I hate flowers.

a/n: not as good as i expected it but enjoy :-) happy valentines day everyone ♡