Away

; end of everything

I was prepared for that day to come. You asked me if i could meet you and i said yes. I didn't dress up like i used to. It would be such a waste because my clothes would get stained by my pool of tears, anyway. I knew you were going to end it. And you decided that the park was the good place to end everything.

When i arrived, you were already there sitting on the bench. You stood up and give a faint smile when you saw me. You still had the guts to smile, Jeonghan. And surprisingly, i still had the energy to smile back.

We spent hours sitting on the bench after we talked about everything. It felt like my days with you were slowly becoming a dream. My days with you felt surreal that i thought i was dreaming. That day when you ended everything, i felt like i just woke up from a long slumber.

You said you found someone else. I've told this a million times but i could see through your lies. As much as i wanted you to lie, you didn't. Your eyes never lied and you were telling the truth. You found someone else better than me.

That day, i learned that one cannot always be faithful to another. I let you go easily because i knew, i couldn't make you happy anymore. I was just a broken compass, i couldn't lead you anymore. I'm sorry, Jeonghan. I never paid any attention to you. You needed love so much more than i did but i didn't give you enough.

"Are you going away, Yoon Jeonghan?" I asked quietly, feeling afraid of the answer.

"Maybe."

"For good?"

I knew we couldn't keep in touch after this. We couldn't be friends after we ended everything because we weren't even friends from the start. We were strangers who fell in love and forced ourselves to be together. We were both in love but we never got to know each other. Was that even possible?

You nodded your head and smiled. That was the last time i saw your smile so i couldn't tear away my gaze from you. You didn't dare to look at me because you knew i was holding back my tears. You missed your chance to see me for the last time.

"I'm going away for good."