Your Memory Will Carry On (Mikey Way)

Prologue

I felt everything.

I felt the stinging in my wrists from where I cut them. I felt the tightness in my hair from where I pulled it into a pony-tail. I felt the tears stinging my eyes as I cried. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks, like they couldn't get off of my face fast enough. I felt where the railing of the bridge dug into my back.

I saw everything.

I saw the green trees below me. I saw the shadows of the cars behind me fly over my feet. I saw how white my knuckles were from gripping the railing so tightly. I saw how the blood flowed freely from my wrists onto the railing where they dripped onto the concrete below.

I looked at everything for the last time. I loosened my grip on the railing to make the jump easier.

I've been jumping since I was two. One little jump now can take all the pain away.

My hair waved in front of my face. It was red. Blood red. That was the color I dyed it over the summer, but I wasn't sure if there was blood in my hair from when I pulled it back after cutting my wrist.

I remembered the rides at the amusement parks. The ones where you sit in a car and you go up to the top of a tower and then you suddenly fall. I remembered the feeling of my hair blowing around my face and my stomach flying up to my throat.

I yearned for the feeling.

I let one hand off of the railing. There were heavy footfalls behind me. I sniffled, wiped my eyes on my shoulder, and turned my head to see my best friend,  the last person I wanted to see at this moment.

Mikey Way.

"Chris. Please don't." Mikey said, running to me.

"I s-swear, Mikey, if you t-take one more s-step towards me I w-will jump." I said, my tears making me stutter. Mikey stopped running. He was crying too. I've known him for three years and never seen him cry.

"Then I'll jump after you."

No, no. I couldn't let him do that. He has too much to live for. He has his mom, dad, his brother, and our friends. He has his band. Mikey wouldn't do that to his family. He wouldn't kill himself to go after me.

After all, I'm going to a place where nobody can follow.

I let out one last sob as I let my other hand be free of the railing. I was now standing with half of my feet on the little concrete that was available on this side of the railing.

One little jump.

I shut my eyes.

"Chris! No! Please! I need you! Don't do this to me!" Mikey screamed. I ignored him. I don't need to apologize to him for this. He'll be the one to find my note. I left it in a place where only he would find it. He'll see my apology in the suicide note; he should understand why I'm doing this.

I jumped.

I didn't get very far. At all. Literally as soon as my foot left the concrete Mikey's arms wrapped around my chest, pulling me over the railing.

I mentally slapped myself for forgetting how strangely fast he was when he needs to be. I started crying harder than I was before. Although, I don't think that was possible.

Mikey pulled me over the railing and we both collapsed to the ground. He had his arms wrapped around me very tightly. I had my head resting on his chest, but I wasn't facing him. Mikey was crying too. He was stroking my hair.

Over and over, like a mantra, he kept whispering, "I can't lose you, I can't lose you."

"Why did you do that, Mikey? Why did you do that?" I asked at him, still not opening my eyes.

"You're my best friend, Chris, and I love you." Mikey whispered into my hair, his tears falling onto my neck, where they then rolled down my chest. "I can't let you go."

I sobbed then, opening my eyes.

I was basically sitting in between Mikey's legs, my back against his chest, his arms circling me, protecting me. I was facing the spot where I stood only moments ago. The air felt cold. I couldn't see the trees beneath the bridge in the valley anymore. I could see the shadows of the cars still. I looked down at myself and noticed that my hands were gripping Mikey's arms, getting blood all over his skin. My hands were covered in blood. My green shirt had turned brown in places from my blood. I looked up at Mikey, who looked back at me.

"H-How did you find m-me?" I asked him.

"I found your note. I ran here as soon as I read where you were. I'm glad I made it in time." He said softly. I sobbed, but didn't answer him. I wished Mikey didn't find me. I wished I had jumped sooner.



One little jump.