Your Memory Will Carry On (Mikey Way)

Say Goodbye to the Girl You Thought You Knew

*Mikey’s POV*

I thought she was dying. I honestly thought Chris was dying.

I was sitting in the waiting room with Gerard, Frank, Ray, and Bob. No doctors had come to talk to us yet, as they were still trying to stabilize Chris. The only details we had at this point were what Frank told us. Which wasn’t much.

All I knew was that Chris has severe head trauma, and apparently she was bleeding a lot.

My hands were shaking. The girl I love is dying. I think. I actually didn’t know, but the way Frank kept pacing told me that she wasn’t in very good shape.

I couldn’t imagine my life if Chris died. I need her, and she needs me. She’s been there for me through everything, and I’ve been there for her. She can’t die, she just can’t. I almost lost her once. I can’t lose her again.

Ray put his hand on my knee. He knows about my feelings for Chris.

“She’s gonna be okay, Mikes. She’s strong, remember? This is Christina Ross we’re dealing with. She won’t die. She wouldn’t do this to us.” Ray said. He always had a way of reading our minds. He turned to Frank who was pacing. “Will you stop pacing? It’s not your fault.”

Was Frank blaming himself for the accident?

“That’s not what I’m thinking. I’m just really worried about her.” Frank said, collapsing in a chair next to Gerard. He put his head in his hand and groaned. “Ugh, my head hurts.”

“You probably have a concussion.” Bob said, speaking for the first time.

“Yeah that makes sense. The airbags in my car did fail to deploy.” Frank said sarcastically. I looked at him.

“Seriously? Frank how old is your car?” I asked him. I knew his car was shitty and unsafe, but it didn’t really click with me just how unsafe it was until now.

“It’s so old that dust comes out the muffler.” He said. He looked up at Gerard. “Do you think she’d be okay if the airbags worked?”

“I’m not sure. Was she wearing her seatbelt?” Gerard answered him. Frank shook his head. “Then probably not.”

That stupid girl. Stupid! Didn’t she know better? I thought she was smarter than that.

I leaned back in the chair, resting my head on the wall.

The girl I love could be dying. She could be struggling for air or bleeding to death. She could be dying, and I never even told her that I loved her. She could be so close to death, but I can’t save her this time.

Gerard got up and sat next to me. He put his head on my shoulder and soon fell asleep.

It’s really hard knowing the girl you love is in love with your older brother. Especially when he takes her out on dates, but he has no feelings for her. I just wish Gerard would tell her he doesn’t feel the same way, then maybe she could get over him.

I’ve come to accept the fact that I will never be anything more than a friend to Chris. As much as I want Chris to love me back, I’d be okay if she was just dating somebody who cared about her. I’m not saying that Gerard doesn’t care about her, because he does. Gerard just cares about her on a friend level, not boyfriend.

Gerard started snoring on my shoulder. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 9:30. We’ve been here for about two hours. And we still don’t have any news about Chris.

I shut my eyes and fell asleep.

***

“Mikey, wake up.” Gerard said, shaking me. I opened my eyes. There was a doctor standing in the waiting room with me and the guys. His green scrubs and white coat made me uncomfortable. He had a clipboard in his hands.