you looked so beautiful today<3
It came from my ex. Luke. God, I hated him. He lead me on and then broke up with me. He was my first ever love and he broke me. Until then I didn't want to ever love again. I also learned a lesson from it. Remember how my mom doesn't want me to date until high school is over?
** FLASHBACK **
It was freshman year. My mom was in my room nagging to me about how messy my room was.
"Look at all this! Clothes! Wrappers of food, crumbs on the floor, pieces of paper! They're everywhere!"
I was on my phone scrolling through my Instagram and listening to Wild Heart. So basically, I was ignoring her.
As I turned around I noticed she had a piece of paper in her hand. It was probably just full of scribbles. Until I heard her read it.
"I'm sorry Janiah. But i'm breaking up with you?" I heard as her voice starts to fade.
Yes, he broke up with me with a note. I'm pathetic, I know.
I was cursing in my mind. My heart rate was faster than usual. I was scared, nervous, and felt like I was about to break down any second.
"JANIAH! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS?! A BOYFRIEND? YOU'VE HAD YOURSELF A BOYFRIEND ALREADY?" She yelled with all of her might as I heard my dad's footsteps come up the stairs.
By then I was already in tears. I knew I was going to be in big trouble. Knowing my mom she would think of a really huge punishment. My door swung open and outside the door was my dad.
"What's going on in here? I could hear you all the way from the backyard!" my dad looking worried as ever.
"WELL YOUR DAUGHTER HERE HAS HAD A BOYFRIEND"
My dad looked at me with eyes of dissapointment. And that's when I knew, I really messed up.
"Give me your phone Janiah. Your tablet, your iPod, your tv. Everything. You will not have any of these for one month. You will not go out for one month. Heck! I don't even think we can let you go out anymore! Janiah, you lost our trust! We thought you were better than that!" She said as she exited my room and closing my door.
More and more tears fell down my face. I made my mom and my dad disappointed in me.
** ** ** ** **
Thinking about it made me cringe. I shook it off and remembered that I still have the note. I have no idea why I saved it, but I did.
I walked over to my closet and took out the box wrapped around with ribbon, a little tag on it saying "Memories <3". I opened it up and there it was. The note. I'm guessing I put it in there to remind myself of how stupid I was for falling in love with a jerk and to never do it again.
The note was crumpled up. The stains of my tears all over it. I'm surprised I didn't rip it up. I was pretty mad as of what I remembered. Seeing the note itself, not even opened up, brought a single tear falling down my left eye. All of a sudden, all the happy moments we shared together came back to my mind. I actually thought we'd last. But I guess I was wrong. I wanted to open the note and read it. But I couldn't. I knew that if I did, more and more tears would fall. My heart, would once again be broken up and shed into pieces. So being intelligent, I put the note back in the box and continued with my homework.
I forgot that I never answered back. Should I? My mind kept telling me no but I was too nice to just leave him on read.
but if it was you messaging him, he woulda put you on read and wouldn't even care, my conscience speaks.
Ugh, whatever. Who caaaares?! So I replied.
shame on you Janiah. You know you'll get played like last time, my conscience speaks again.
"Thanks (:"
A minute later I heard my laptop beep and noticed it was a message from Luke.
"You're welcome Beautiful <3"
Is he starting to like me again? Or is he just playing with me? I had no idea but I decided to continue talking to him. There was just something about him, that even if he broke my heart I will still keep on falling for him. Maybe it was because he was my first love? Who knows. And again, who cares? It's not like I would start liking him again!
Ok maybe I would..
But for now I just wanted to be friends with him. Heck, maybe even bestfriends! That's how we started out anyways. From bestfriends to lovers to complete strangers.
I stayed up all night talking to him. It was weird because every time he messaged back I would get butterflies in my stomach. Dammit Janiah! Don't fall for it!
** ** ** **
I woke up with the sun flashing my eyes. I looked at the time. It read :
7:05
Oh snap i'm late! I went straight to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Taking a quick look at my hair. Thank God my hair looks alright. After doing all that I need to in the bathroom, I went straight to my room to do my makeup. I don't really do much. Just a couple layers of mascara and i'm done!
I went over to my window and it looked pretty hot outside so I decided to wear some high waisted shorts with a cute crop top with a sunflower on it. The only thing I liked about my school is that, it has no dress code. I checked how I looked on my full sized mirror and brushed my hair out. I'm always so thankful for having straight hair because there are no struggles. I grabbed a pair of socks and quickly put on my white converse.
7:20
School started at 7:30 so I had 10 minutes left. Damn! For a girl, I got ready pretty quick! On a daily basis, I would probably take about an hour and a half but since I'm in a hurry I had to move in a faster pace.
I took my neon green Jansport backpack and my ID. I ran downstairs but I forgot my phone so I ran back upstairs and took my phone and disconnected it with the charger. I ran back downstairs and noticed that the keys to my car were on the kitchen table. Yay! My mom finally let me drive my car again! I got my car taken away because I had a C. I know, I know. My parents were strict. But i'm fine with that.. Kinda? Anyways, I grabbed my keys and went straight to my car.
As I was driving I saw someone walking down the street, off to school too I guess. It was hard to tell because he had a beanie on so I made a quick stop to see who it was.
