The Nice People| Tom holland

♛that's me♛

-Dismissal time -

I packed my stuff and headed out to my house. Ah today..? Today Mindy can't come with me because she wanted to follow Lisa's boyfriend. It didn't bother me. It gave me some time to think about my miserable life. And at school when I walked to another class I saw that smiling boy and there is no doubt that
He wasn't smiling. What's with him? . Just so I don't look rude I slightly smiled back. I got glares from Lisa and she threatened me.

"Hey! It's the red light. What do u think ur doing?" a man yelled at me as I stopped and walked back over before getting hit by a car.

Wouldn't that be the best for me and everyone?

I thanked the man and he glared, giving me a lecture. I couldn't hear anything he was saying. I was too lost in life. He scoffed and walked off as people walked to the other end and I moved my shaky legs. "Even my legs can't carry me anymore" I thought looking at my bruises.

Emotionally: I'm done
Mentally: I'm drained
Spiritually: I feel dead
Physically: I smile

"For gods sake...I have to wake up my sister for her college shit. And if she didn't. she gets lectured and I get hit." I sighed and stepped inside the house. I don't consider it mine even since my mom always says "I payed for this house. I did everything to make u happy and blah blah blah" well shit. Isn't that the job of a mother?

I placed my stuff on my bed and headed to my sister's room without taking a shower. "I'm wasting my life on you ffs" I thought as I entered her dark and cold room. "Sis wake up. Mom said I should wake u up. So wake up or she will have her ways" I stated standing, my hands in my pocket.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!! IM FUCKING TRYING TO SLEEP" she threw her pillow right on my face. I controlled my anger. "Wake up or we are gonna get punished. Mom is already mad." I said calmly. "Idfc. You're gonna get hit not me so get the hell out of my room. U have no right to enter." She yelled.

'I'm running out of reasons to stay alive'

I sighed and went out of her room, shutting the door really hard. I entered my room and warmed the water before falling into the deep warm tub. "This is so relaxing. The only place where I can have peace" I said quietly as I felt a warm tear sliding down my cheeks.

Great. Now I'm crying.

I'm living in hell. I get abused at home. I get bullied at school. I don't have anyone who cares for me. No one to stand by me. No one to love me for who I am really. I'm broken. I'm dying. I'm crying. I'm screaming. I get hurt by others but I just fake a smile and move on like everything is okay. But the only person who affected me the most is....

Me

I'm insecure about my thighs, my face, my legs, my eyes, my hair, my lips, my hands, my scars, my arms, my stomach, my nose, my height, my weight, my toes, my thoughts, my feelings, my eyebrows, my cheeks...everything. I don't wanna be that girl who thinks of suicide, self harms, wears a jumper in the summer, hates her body, crys her self to sleep every night, gets judged by everyone, fakes smiles, feels insecure ALL the time, keeps everything bottled up, pretends everything is okay. But guess what...I'm that girl and I fucking hate it.

I cried and cried I didn't even want to stop. 'I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being who you really are' my brain spoke to me feeling guilty somehow. "Stop it. Stop being nice to me now. U are ruining me." I answered chocking on my own words.