What We Want, What We Get (a boy x boy novel)

Chapter Six - "It's not like that, at least not yet."

Brad is in the sidebar, enjoy !!!

I explain the whole situation to Alice at lunch, since she's the only one that knows how I feel about him. This is all like a twisted fate. Of all people I could get paired with I got the guy I'm crushing on. Could this be any more cliche?

"Mike you're overreacting, it won't be that bad, just be positive." Typical Alice, always seeing the good in everything, one of the many reasons it was so easy to love her.

"Al, this is serious. My brain doesn't function correctly when I'm around him. How am I supposed to keep myself in check knowing that I always screw up?"

I'm genuinely worried and I don't think she understands why. I tell her about Saturday and she still has the same attitude.

"Mike, you know what your issue is? You over-think every single thing. You can't assume that it was your fault that he left. Yes, it sounds a little odd, but maybe it was him and not you."

I ponder over what she's saying as I stuff these fake glazed donuts into my mouth. Tastes better than I feel at the moment: sick.

I do have an over thinking problem, but that's just because you never know what'll happen, and I need to know every possible situation and its end and I need to be able to survive it.

"I can't help it Alice, this is just how I'm programmed. You know better than anyone." She nods, because it's true.

During our relationship I wasn't that bad. I over-thunk the small things, like if my cooking was good enough or would she like something I got for her. Feelings weren't the issue, until the end at least.

"I think you're over thinking because you like him" she's not wrong, but she's missing pieces.

I'm over thinking extra now because not only do I like him, but I know that he's straight and nothing will become of us. And setting myself up for failure is something I don't want to do. I'm basically hurting myself by liking him as it is, I need no more fuel to that burning fire.

What do I think is gonna happen? We work together on this project and he grows these feeling for me while we're together and tries to put the moves on me one day? That he takes me around and we go back to his house and we hook up?

NO. None of that will happen, and none of that is going to happen, because reality and my will are strong opposing forces in the name of supposed love.

I digress, because I really don't want to talk about this anymore, so I ask Alice how her date with Cash went. She goes into very specific details, and Cash is quite the charmer.

He took her to Chipotle. And while that doesn't sound very lavish, let me tell you, Alice loves her some Burritos and Tacos. I tried making some for her once and she got more mad at me that her Taco meat got burned than her almost getting burned.

Anyways, he rented out the entire area and they had like this all-you-can-eat type thing going on. He had the table set up, a mix-tape of her favorite songs, and that was only part one. They went to go see this new move that came out afterward, Two Lovers Road.

He did good. Better than me if I'm being honest.

*****

Thank god the day is over. I head over to my locker to get my books for later and wait for Brad. Since he's a math genius he's doing my math homework, and because I'm good at history I do his homework for that. Fair trade in my book.

I close it and right across the hall I see Paul leave one of the classes in the Science hallway, heading to his locker down the hall from me. I could pretend he isn't here and walk right past his locker and go find Brad outside.