What We Want, What We Get (a boy x boy novel)

Chapter Eighteen - "Odds are he won't ever talk to me again."

 I decided to try something new this chapter. This is in Pauls persepctive after his run-in with Paul at the deli Fourth of July weekend. Enjoy it Guys !!!

Paul

I watched him as he left the store, a little conflicted with how I felt about the situation. I realize that I am interested in someone else now, but there is no forgetting about Michael and how he (still) makes me feel inside. Maybe I do still like him a little bit, because feeling like that don't just go away, but since the encounter, it has definitely lessened.

I spend the rest of my shift worrying about how to act the next time I see him. I knew he had a boyfriend for a while, but now that he's verbally told me I know he is off limits for good. Bad timing is what I like to call us, or rather the time that never really happened. That Craig dude seems like he'd be good to him, so to get all pissy at him doesn't make sense. I just didn't win.

When I get out of work, I quickly start making my way back to my house, just so I can quickly lie down and take a power nap. My parents won't be home until later, so I have the house to myself, which will be refreshing for a while. My dad has been moody with me the last couple weeks, our conversations shorter and shorter. He can't possibly know that I might be gay, I've been covering up my tracks pretty well the last few months.

My mom hasn't acted any different than normal, which can be both a good and bad thing. I think, if I ever do come out, she would be the one to fear. My dad would be mad too, but he's better at understanding than she is. She is stubborn by nature, and will never admit defeat. That's a part of her I'm glad I don't have, but wish I had at the same time.

I walk into the house to feel nothing but bad vibes and hungry. I should have taken Mikes lead and made myself a sandwich before I left. Instead, I just grab a piece of pie that my mom made yesterday for the Fourth of July and head upstairs to take a nap. Before I even make it up the stairs, I hear a knock on the door. Not having a damn clue who that could be, I angrily go back downstairs to answer the person who was to interrupt the affair between me and my bed.

I open the door wide to meet a pair of very attractive grey eyes. I totally didn't expect to see him here today. He's come over every now and then since the incident, but normally it's at night, not in the middle of the afternoon. He looks extremely hot, in both senses of the word.

"What are you doing here so early in the day?" I ask, and move myself from the door so he can come in. He's that guy who will just come into your house with no permission, and I just have to learn to accept it.

"Caroline broke her body parts, and you live near the hospital, so why not, right?" He says so matter-of-factly. Before I can even close the door and lock it, he's already trying to attack my mouth. I have to push him off of me to continue what I'm doing. When I finish, however, I kiss him just as hard, as if fighting for dominance.

He's a really good fucking kisser, no wonder all the girls at school lined up to get with him. Imagine, to my surprise, that he may be interested in boys. Imagine, to my surprise, that he got drunk at the party I saw him at and told me he'd get with me if Mike wasn't involved with him. And imagine my surprise when we were making out in the bathroom that night, he pulled down my pants and gave me my first gay blowjob, and it was fucking heaven. He's got some potential in the gay world, let me tell you that.

He's obviously not out, or willing to tell his best friends that we've been fooling around the last three weeks, but at some point it's going to come out, and feeling will get hurt. Mike might hate him forever, and may never speak to me again.

But I like having someone to kiss, to give me blowjobs (and sometimes giving one in return), and to have someone to talk to and sleep with in bed at night. If I didn't still have feelings for Mike, I would totally date him. He's fucking gorgeous, and he has some personality, which is a win-win right there. Maybe someday.

We breathe for air and sit on the couch in the back of the house. He runs a finger through his hair and reapplies his chap stick, as if readying for round two. He then tells me how Caroline, very nice girl if anything by the way, was riding his old skateboard as a dare by Mike and she ended up falling epically and breaking her arm and spraining her leg. I remember in 9th grade when she came into science lab with stitches on her face and arms from a camping trip she took with her cousins during spring break. She's not very good with not hurting herself it seems.

"..And she wouldn't stop complaining and Mike and I basically threw her into her mom's car. I love the girl, but she needs a mute button sometimes." He continues.

I decide to bring up that I saw Mike today. "Speaking of Mike, I ran into him when he came to the deli for a sandwich."

Brads eyes widen a little bit at this comment, and I know he wants me to continue my story. "Nothing really happened, he just came and told me about him and his boyfriend and accused me of still liking him." Brad nods at this. "I also mentioned that I'm seeing you, but I didn't say you exactly."

He practically jumps off the couch at this confession. "Dude, you CANNOT under any circumstances tell Mike about what we've been doing. I know he said it would be okay if we did, but I know deep down he won't forgive me for it."

"I know. Odds are he won't ever talk to me again, and he finally got my name in his mouth with no sarcasm. I'm not ruining it. But I know he'll get curious, so it's up to you to deflect it, Brad. I won't say a word, but you need to make sure he doesn't suspect anything."

I know he hates lying to Mike and the girls, but he knows Mike won't like it, and the girls may follow suit. This is just how it has to be until it gets better. I'm not a fan of this plan either, but with the two choices we have, lying hurts less people.  Deep down, he knows that too.

I then get us out of a bad mood, trying to focus on the good of the situation. "But that doesn't mean we have to stop doing what we're doing."

I lean in closer and grab the back of his head and pull him in for a hot make out session. He's wrestling with my body for dominance, and he ends up on top of me, which I don't really mind. I can clearly see his boner, and he's rubbing on mine while still looking at my face.

I really want to fuck him right now, but I know he's not ready for that yet. Plus, I think he thinks he going to top me the first time. Yeah, right. Eventually, I have no problem being the bottom every now and then, because I believe in equality, but the first time I am the dominant one. No if, ands, or buts about that.

He pulls out my boner and proceeds to turn around and fix my big problem. Like I said before, he has a lot of potential in the gay community.

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