P. S. This is not Meant to be Found

Maybe Somebody

When I'm at school it's the worst.

Not because of learning. I don't actually mind that so much.

It's because everyone has somebody. Everyone has a best friend or a group of friends or a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

But not me.

So when I see them talking together and having fun...it makes everything worse. I'm just reminded of how alone I am. And how I'm of no worth to anyone.

I'll never be the reason for the smile on someone's face.

There's only one exception.

Gabriella.

She is my best friend in the entire world and she never fails to make me happy.

But you see she's never here.

She lives in a different state, Alaska to be exact.

I've visited her twice since she moved away. But it's not enough. It's not helping.

Nothing is helping.

I think writing might help once I'm finished. But for now it's not doing much either.

I know I contradict myself a lot.

Honestly it's because nothing makes sense to me.

School things are different learning history and algebra II and the structure of cells makes sense.

But everything else. Life. It's so confusing. And no one will ever figure it out.

Maybe I need someone.

Someone to make it better.

It would be nice if that happened.

But there will always be someone prettier than me. Someone smarter than me. Someone more athletic than me.

There will always be someone better.

So, yes, while it would be indescribably incredible to have someone, it won't ever happen.

Because who would want me when there is always someone better?

P. S. This is not meant to be found.