Alice's pov
The movie was scary as hell and I was cuddling into his chest because I'm scared as hell I mean I know wat your thinking by no I don't like him I think ...no o don't I don't ever want to fall in love again and I refuse to fall in love again
* flashback *
I walked to the door I loved Tim so much I was going to ask him to marry me yea I know but watever Tim stays at home and cooks and clean he wants to be a stay at home dad but we haven't had sex because he said he was saving that for the wedding day
He said that two yrs ago I love him with all of my heart and soul I gave my heart to him I walked in the house I heard moaning I guess his was watching porn again it was daily I walked up to out room I go it of early for him
I opened the door and my heart broke in pieces at the sight before my eyes it was my boyfriend having sex with Hus so called friend I dropped the box it opened the reveal a wedding ring blue his favorite color diamond he looked at the door
" Alice I didn't know u were getting off work early today wat are u doing home so early u were suppose to come home in an hour " he said I sitting up the lady ran to get her clothes I started crying hard more like sobbing I picked up the ring and walked out the house I got in my car and drove to dia's house
I will never fall in love again ever no matter wat I just can't deal with the pain again ever
*Flash back over*
" hey Alice u ok your crying " mark said wiping my tears I nodded my head
" hey I think I'm gonna turn in for the night I'm kinda tired " I said he nodded His head he kissed my for head I headed to my bedroom I heard patter of feet behind I guess it was Chica I let her in I stripped into my pants and a big shirt that had galaxy goddess on it with a galaxy in the bed I signed I don't like my body after Tim I went in depression and I have panic attacks and I start to hyperventilating and and I pass out
I want to get help because soon I started to cut yea me cut I'm not beautiful if I were Tim would have never cheated on me I get in bed and Chica jumps up on the bed and sleeps at the head I just lay their I not sexy or beautiful not even cute or nice looking I soon started to cry I wish that someone would love me ..no i don't cause I don't wanna go threw that pain again like before I soon fall asleep thinking so much last thing I hear is chica barking and mark busting into the room then in out of it
" is she gonna be ok doc " I heard somwnody say I sit up and open my eyes and I see the doctor with mark and Felix andthe nurse
" MNNN nn where am I " I said my voice hurt so Felix gave my some water I smiled at him
" I heard Chica barking and when I came u were having little stroke with a seizer and a you were hyperventilating at the same time so I called 911 and u passed out they said at all started with a panic attack " mark said sitting down
" its because of her ex three yrs ago Tim he broke her and she have panic attacks every time that moment replays in here head and u see wat that leads to mark " she said over the phone she's right Tim broke me and I can't be fixed not even by the pple who tried I'm a mystery that can't be solved no matter how hard u try
" she can go home just keep an eye on here plz and she needs to take this since she ran out " he said handing mark my depression pills and my anti suicide pills fuccckkkkkkkk fuccckkkkkkkk fuccckkkkkkkk fuccckkkkkkkk fuccckkkkkkkk he walked out
Hr looked at me and so did Felix
" I can explain I went into depression and with that comes deadly thoughts about killing yourself but o stopped well kinda did I haven't cut in a week a whole week and I'm doing good and the other pills are for the voices and without them the voices come back and tell me to do these things and they help make the depression go down some just enough for the voices the go away " I said he looked at me shocked Felix walked out saying ' I'll give u to a min or two '
Mark sat down
" why Alice why I don't understand why would u cut your beautiful skin that that I don't understand " he said I felt tears escape my eyes
" I did this because I wasn't beautiful enough for him I wasn't nice looking I wasn't even pretty hr never told me he always came home smelling look her but I thought it was his sister or mom but I knew that don't wear pink lipstick I knew tim was cheating I just didn't want to believe it I understand I suffered this for three yrs after I made that one video the voices go away when I read how Happy my fans are and how much they think the hero I am I see mark if it wasn't for my fans I would be dead I'm glad I have friends like Felix and you and jack and fans like them thank u " I said crying he wiped my tears I knew mark liked me since first grade but I forgot him and he went to another school but we just met up like 1 yr ago by then I didn't tell pple I was depressed and I didn't let pple see it wither on me I was just to scared to love again mark tries his best to love me I just think of him as a friend but I was like is best friend and now I'm his love I try I just have dreams about him cheating on me like Tim did i started breathing hard and here they come back the voices
- he doesn't love u I bet its out of pity anyway who would love a beast like u anyway
- I feel bad for the guy loving u man that sicks
- why don't u kill yourself already I bet he will cheat on u to like tim did but he will just laugh at you and say u were ugly anyway I beat
- monster
- cunt
- u don't deserve to live anymore go kill yourself
