The Magnitude of True Love

Chapter Five: No More Waiting

Everyone looked toward me as I stood in the doorway of the room. My breath came out in short, nervous pants. I stared back at everyone. By the angel, I just can't do it. I really wanted to do it though. I couldn't tell my parents, not yet. Not yet. Could I even tell Jace? Despite the attention I was getting from everyone, I raced through the crowd and the doors to my home. I found myself blinded by the bright light outside, but I didn't stop running. I would continue until I reached the place I had in mind.

"Alexander Lightwood!" I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard my younger sister's voice yell out for me. I slowly turned around and saw Izzy jogging towards me. "Alec, what are you doing now?"

"Izzy..." I groaned in frustration. "I have things I need to take care of."

"Like what?"

"Like figuring out how to tell our parents the truth," I stated without realizing what I was saying.

"Alec, are you really?" Izzy asked softly but excitedly.

"I think so. I was going to when I ran into the room, but I couldn't. So instead, I just kept on running. I don't know if I can do it, Iz. I don't think I can."

"Alec, you have to believe in yourself! I know you and Magnus are meant for each other."

"How can you possibly know that?"

"I just do, Alec. I just do. Although, I'd be willing to tell you if you actually came out about your feelings. I know it's a difficult thing to do, but you can't go on the way you are. You need to set yourself free."

"Isabelle, I had no idea you could be so motivational and inspirational."

"I think the actual word you're looking for is wise."

"I think you're correct for once." That comment earned me a slap on the arm from Izzy.

"The voice of reason is wise, right?"

"Right."

"Okay Alec, time to go back and tell them."

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

"I'm not ready. Izzy, I promise I'll tell them the truth, but I'll do it when I'm ready."

"Okay, Alec. That's what matters."

"Well, I have a place to be. I'll see you later, Iz."

"Where are you going?" I didn't get a chance to answer her because I had already begun to run in the direction of Magnus's loft. If I kept my speed up, I'd manage to get there in thirty minutes.

Twenty-nine minutes later, I was jogging up the stairs to Magnus's loft. I knocked on the door and stepped back to wait, but I was unable to stay still. I anxiously moved my legs and arms as I heard shuffling behind the door. Suddenly, I had a deliciously sexy warlock staring back at me.

"Alec," Magnus stated curtly.

"Magnus-"

"Did you do it?" Why was he acting so cold again. I sighed in frustration at myself before I responded.

"No-"

"Why? Nevermind, Alec. I know why. I'm sorry, but I don't want to have any sort of 'relationship' until we are free to actually be with each other."

"Magnus, I'm not fearless. I may act like I am, but I'm not. I just can't bring myself to do it."

"Well. Alec. I'm tired of waiting for you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, until you tell everyone the truth...including me, I'm not going to just be here waiting for you. No more waiting."