History

Chapter 15 // The Heartache

Zitao had been laying in his bed awake since the night before all the way until late afternoon. He couldn't sleep and he couldn't bring himself to get up and pretend like everything was okay. It wasn't okay.

He had given into Kris once again.

Sure, they didn't have sex but if Kyungsoo wouldn't have been there... What with the way Tao had completely melted into every kiss and touch, the way he had gotten so dizzy with lust, they would have gone all the way.

He was pissed at himself for letting things escalate the way they did. He should've pushed Kris away but there was something different about the older man that had Zitao forgetting his hatred and regret. Kris didn't look at Tao like he used to. There wasn't hunger or cockiness in those brown eyes, there was something intense and serious.

It scared Tao because he was almost positive that Kris was looking at him with some form of love and adoration. There was just no way that that was possible.

Kris just wanted to use him. That was it. He wanted to fuck Tao and then throw him away. That was all Tao was good for.

Zitao must have been seeing things because there was absolutely no way Kris felt anything more than lust toward him.

"I made dinner. Get out here" Kyungsoo ordered from the other side of Tao's locked door.

Tao eyed his door warily. He really didn't want to move from his spot on the bed. He was too lazy to move, too frustrated to sleep, and too tired to cry.

"I'm not hungry," Tao tried to yell, but it came out hoarse and weak.

"I did not just slave for over two hours in the kitchen just for you to be a snob and refuse a free meal! Get your lazy ass out of bed!" Kyungsoo shouted in annoyance. Apparently, he had managed to hear Tao after all.

"I'm not hungry" Tao groaned again, rolling onto his side. He must have had a death wish.

There was a very long, very ominous silence that followed Tao's reply. It seemed like Kyungsoo had decided to leave him alone and eat dinner by himself.

However, Tao was never that lucky.

He could hear his door being unlocked and opened. Loud stomping came closer and closer to him and Tao tried to hide under his blankets. It didn't work. Kyungsoo threw the sheets off of him and Zitao was met with the terror that is his roommate. His glare pierced his soul and Tao was frozen like a deer in headlights.

Kyungsoo's hands snapped out toward him, fast as lighting and Zitao barely managed to scramble away from the threat, only to roll off of his mattress and onto the floor.

He didn't see the smaller male make his way toward him or process how long it took but all of a sudden Kyungsoo was right in front of him. His fingers encircled Tao's ankles and he was suddenly being dragged through the apartment.

"LET ME GO! I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" Tao screamed nonsensically, flailing around in desperation.

"I don't care if I have to shove the food down your throat until you're choking to death, you are going to eat it," Kyungsoo said menacingly.

"You don't have to do that! I'll eat it! I'm sorry!"

And just like that, Kyungsoo let go of Tao's ankles and took a seat at the dining table. Zitao slowly sat up, thankful that he was wearing enough clothes to protect him from rug burn.

The table was already set, his plate stacked with spicy pork, onions, and kimchi. He knew it was going to taste delicious. Everything Kyungsoo made was perfect, but he didn't have an appetite.

"It's going to get cold."

Zitao jumped into his chair and started to powering down the food before Kyungsoo had to say another word.

"You know, I've been wanting to talk to you ever since last night."

The seriousness in Kyungsoo's tone wasn't abnormal but it sent panic through Tao. After his accidental make-out session with Kris, he had been expecting Kyungsoo to chew him out. He wasn't supposed to have people over unless he asked and doing sexual things out in the open was definitely unacceptable.

Tao glanced at him nervously, like a guilty puppy, but Kyungsoo didn't look angry. He looked thoughtful.

"Okay?"

"The guy you were kissing... that was Kris, right? Our neighbor?"

Tao gave a slow nod.

"I'm not judging you or anything, but do you know the kind of person he is?"

"Yeah."

"And you're okay with it?"

Zitao sighed, "Look, it's not what it looked like. Kris and I used to be... together... but I'm not interested in him anymore. He's just messing around with me. It's some sick game of his."

Kyungsoo studied him for a long moment before speaking again. "You love him but he's never going to settle for an exclusive relationship."

"How did you know that?"

"I don't know Kris that well but I used to be close with a friend of his. They're one in the same and you and I are the collateral damage of their immaturity."

Tao was shocked by the confession. "Which friend?!"

"Kai," he reluctantly revealed. "We were together for almost a year. I loved him with all my heart and I thought he felt the same way too. Then I found out that he had been cheating on me the entire time."

"Oh my gosh."

"Yeah. It really sucked. The worst part was that as mad as I was about being betrayed, I could never stop loving him. Even now..."

"I know how you feel," Tao admitted.

They shared a defeated look from across the table, their meal left forgotten.

"How am I supposed to move on?"

Zitao offered a sympathetic frown. He wasn't the best person to give advice on the matter since he was going through the same problem. "How long has it been since you broke up?"

"Six months."

"Maybe if you talk to him, you can find some type of closure?"

Kyungsoo's eyes widened in horror, much to Tao's surprise. He thought it was impossible for his scary roommate to feel fear when he was the bringer of nightmares.

"I don't think that's a good idea! What if I fall even harder for him? What if he doe-."

"I can come with you. I'll make sure nothing crazy happens. How does that sound?"

"I don't know his number or anything..." Kyungsoo tried to get out of the situation.

"I know where to find him. But we'll have to wait until the weekend."

"Alright, fine but if anything bad happens to me you're going to regret it" Kyungsoo warned, cracking his knuckles for emphasis.

Tao laughed weakly at the threat. Why did he always end up in the worst situations? Why couldn't he just live a normal, boring life like a majority of the human population?

He hadn't even considered that when he takes Kyungsoo to the club to see Kai, Kris might be there too.

'Perfect. Just fucking perfect.'