God's Gift [A Yoosung x Saeran/Unknown Fanfic]

Are my feelings real? -Chapter Eight

His eyes were closed, in January and February were cold. So people mainly slept or stayed home. That was Saeran - he did mainly nothing. But his insane mind and soul said he should get up, so he followed what his mind and soul thought. Both told him he should check on Yoosung, worry came to Saeran. So he got up lazily and checked on the blonde. The white haired man saw a cute, sleeping younger one on the bed Saeran let him use. Why did Saeran get worried over nothing? Saeran rubbed a part of Yoosung's soft, silky hair. It somewhat calmed him from his stress. Was this weird? Was it creepy? Of course Saeran was a weird and creepy person himself but even Saeran felt weird doing this. Were his emotions weird? A boy liking another boy, is that okay? No, loving him. Is that weird? Is it odd to already love him and you've only known him for a few months? Saeran was confused. Hes loved a girl and dated for a short time but this is a young boy who lost his girlfriend because of her selfishness, what exactly was causing Saeran to feel this way? Was it because he was so kind and so warm to him? Yes, those were only some of the reasons why love was in the equation.
Yoosung + Torture (not on Yoosung.) + Death to most of the RFA + No Saeyoung = Saeran's happiness.
Just thinking about those things makes Saeran feel happy and warm but he doesn't show it. He doesn't show his happiness just in case he might get hurt again. He wanted to make sure that Yoosung wouldn't try anything to hurt him or even himself. Saeran didn't trust a lot of people , not even himself. Are Saeran's feelings true and real? Did he really hate his brother? Did he actually love torture? Did he truely want to serve his savior? Did Saeran also hate MC and Zen? And did his heart love Yoosung? The white haired male did not know all of those answers. He hasn't seen his brother in many years but he still hated him so much. He hated MC and Zen for hurting Yoosung. Saeran didn't know any better to hate and to serve his savior. There was nothing else for him to do... right? The last question he knew but also did not know the answer to. Did he truly love him? He was told a man loving another man was wrong but was it? Saeran didn't think so , he was one to break rules. And it's not wrong to love someone of the same gender. He knows that but still questions it. There was something about Yoosung that Saeran liked. Was it his charismatic smile? Was it his dyed Blonde hair/ the fact both Saeran and Yoosung both had dyed hair? Was it the way Yoosung lovingly accepted him and his flaws? Or the way he woke up with a cute bed head while he drooled? Saeran noticed all of these things that are just love able. Too love able to help, he did not know how he felt.
"Oh how heartless to make me feel this way."
Saeran said to himself has he sighed and played on his computer. He deleted a bunch of crap that was embarrassing to him. He wouldn't deny he liked anime though. If Yoosung liked something, Saeran liked it. If Yoosung hated something, he'd hate it too. They do have their own dislikes and likes. Saeran won't change just for someone but he'd stop doing bad things in front of them. He's only changed like this for Yoosung. No one else has made him feel so confused or so curious. Even now Saeran didn't know every little thing about Yoosung. But he knew a lot. Being a hacker has its perks, does it not?
"Toby, why do you always do this?"
The blue haired character spoke from Saeran's computer. Saeran liked this show, it made him less mad at everything. His favorite was the blue haired one. But he also liked Jack, two of his favorites were polar opposites in a way. But two characters in the show reminded him of him and Yoosung. Every time he did something, read something, or watched something, Yoosung entered his mind like a monster creeping up behind him. Confusing him on his feelings until Yoosung came down stairs with his computer. Saeran registered him as an online student now. He was watching the same show Saeran was watching, different episode though. Yoosung's favorite was Red. But he also liked the dude with the scarf. Too bad Yoosung could never remember his name. Yoosung smiled at who he called ,'Sae- Sae.' Or 'best friend.'
"G-Good morning Sae-Sae."
"Hello Yoosung. You and I seem to be watching the same show."
"Oh yeah! I guess we are. We a lot more in common than I thought."
Saeran liked hearing that from Yoosung. Hearing that made him smile and seeing Yoosung eat a donut that he grabbed out of the box made him smile too. Was there anything that Yoosung did that didn't make Saeran smile? Probably.
"I guess so."
Saeran put his feet on the table and leaned back in his chair before sighing.
"Are you okay? You seem tired."
"Yeah, I'm tired as hell. And I've been thinking about someone a lot recently."
"Oh? Is there a girl you like?"
"No, it's a dude I like."
Yoosung seemed surprised, he wasn't expecting Saeran to say that but didn't judge him for it. He smiled and nodded.
"I see now, is it someone I know?"
"It depends, do you know yourself well enough?"
The blonde was confused and didn't know Saeran was hitting on him.
"Uh I guess but what does that have to do with anything?"
The white haired male rolled his eyes and leaned forward after taking his feet off the table.
"Never mind."
"Sorry, I just didn't under-."
"You don't have to understand it. I'm not sure if I like him half the time."
"That used to happen to me all the time. It's normal, just ask him out when you're ready. You can do it!"
The collage student held both of Saeran's hands a cross the table.
"I promise you'll be able to ask him out when you're ready."
Saeran tried to not blush at the younger one's words.
"Thank you Yoosung."
"Of course. I just like helping people out."
"I can tell, you'll get all the ladies if they know you're doing that."
Saeran made a finger gun and shot at Yoosung and smirked at him.
"Hehe, you're funny."
Yoosung squinted his eyes and smiled. Yoosung was being half sarcastic and half serious. He was comfortable now to be somewhat sarcastic around Saeran.
"I know I am."
Saeran said back at Yoosung smirking at Yoosung again like he always does. Saeran enjoyed this talks with Yoosung. Even 'hello' and 'goodbye.' Mean so much to him. The older one did not know why he liked talking to Yoosung so much but he felt comfortable. So comfortable he could just give the younger one a hug, and Yoosung would allow him to do so. Even for Valentines Saeran gave Yoosung five hearts of chocolate. But in return Yoosung bought tickets to the aquarium for Saeran (and chocolate too.) so they were becoming closer as time went on. Sometimes they smiled at each other or connected arms. Yoosung liked doing that with Saeran too, this wasn't a one way thing. Or at least the talks and hanging out aren't.
At the end of the day Saeran asks, " Are My Feelings Real?" The answer is yes.