i thought you were dead | joker x harley

i knew he didn't love me, but i loved him anyways

how did I end up here?

how did I become a tragedy. . .

She could hear Joker yelling out her name in the voice she had come to fear; he was growing impatient. Usually she could handle his rage and had grown used to the endless beatings, but this time was different. The fury in his eyes when he had arrived home after losing several of his best men to the Bat was clear as ever and had instilled a fear in Harley that she hadn't felt in what seemed like ages. Ever since she had abandoned her old life and joined the Joker, she considered herself strong and fearless, but recently she was reduced to being a source of stress relief for her beloved Joker. Batman had been extremely vigilant lately and had put an end to most of the Joker's elaborate plans almost immediately. The Bat was wearing him down and Joker grew more and more volatile. When he had arrived, she poured him a drink in hopes of putting him at ease but instead caused him to become more terrifying. He had locked himself away in his office and she could hear him throwing everything in his sight. This was going to be bad; she knew it. Fear took over her body as she knew what was waiting for her later that night. She knew he would take out his anger on her like every other time something had gone wrong with his plans. As expected, he had emerged from his office in search of Harley. It didn't take him long before he found her standing in their kitchen. His men had cleared out to their weapon's room so it was just the two of them. He began walking over to her with a menacing look on his face before something caught his eyes; Tears were streamed down Harley's face and she shook with fear of what he was about to do to her. He continued to walk closer to Harley and as he did, she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces knowing that the man she had given up everything for, the man she loved with every fiber of her being, was about to beat her within an inch of her life. She closed her eyes and prepared herself. Jolted by the force, she fell to the floor after being thrown down by Joker; her head hit the floor with a loud thud and caused her vision to blur and her hearing to momentarily cease. She instinctively reached for where the pain was coming from and rolled to her side; he looked down at her and began kicking her in the stomach repeatedly. She clutched at her sides trying to hold back tears from falling down her face. She could feel every kick she received by his shiny black shoe wedge its way between her ribs. He placed himself on top of her chest, purposefully placing all of his weight as to cause her more pain. He struck her face and began to punch her, leaving the marks of his golden rings on Harley's fragile face. Not once did she try to prevent him from beating her further, she knew better than to fight back. It would only make it worse. She simply laid there and took the beating, occasionally crying out from the pain that flooded her weak and tiny body. After several blows to her face and body she expected it to be over, but it wouldn't end. Every time he kicked her and struck her face, she could feel herself slipping further and further away.

Eventually the blows stopped. He turned his back to her and searched the room for his beloved gold handcuffs. After his beatings, he would cuff Harley to anything in sight in case he wanted to come back and further relieve himself of stress. Terrified and beaten, she saw the opportunity and gathered what was left of her strength to make her way to their bedroom and hid herself in their bathroom. She locked the door and hoped that just this once, he wouldn't come looking for her but her hopes were crushed when she heard her name being yelled out by Joker. Soon enough, he was banging on the bathroom door, demanding she open it. She crawled into the corner and brought her knees to her chest, ignoring the agonizing pain it caused her and cried out, "Please Joker, I can't anymore...please.." But he wouldn't stop. He broke down the door and rushed over to her, slapping her. She continued to cry and looked up at him, the light gleaming from his metal capped teeth that were formed into a smile. He took pleasure in seeing her in pain. He enjoyed knowing that she could crumble under his hand. He gave her one last kick to her side before turning his back and walking away. He was finished. Finally.

Harley laid on the floor, writhing in pain. Every move she made caused her whole body to hurt. Her face was numb and as her hands made their way to it, she felt the blood trickling from her nose and scalp. She rolled over and coughed, nearly passing out from the pain it caused her ribs. Tears poured out from her once bright blue eyes and curled herself into the fetal position. All Harley wanted was for the pain to go away, to end it all. That's when it happened. She remembered about the pills Joker had given her once when they had come back home from a mission. She had been injured and he had given her the pills to make the pain go away. That was exactly what she wanted; for the pain to go away. She opened the small jar where they kept the pills and, without any hesitation, poured them down her throat before there were none left. She knew what was going to happen and as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she lost it. She could hardly recognize herself. Her blonde hair with the once bright blue and pink ends seemed so lifeless now, just like her. Now, her hair was covered in blood and filled with knots. Her tear filled eyes washed over her body that was covered with cuts and bruises, some old and some brand new and felt ashamed at what had become of her. She lowered her body to the floor, closed her eyes, and waited. Waited patiently for the pain to stop and soon she felt it. She could feel herself drifting away; she knew Joker would be livid at the realization that she had deprived him of ending her life and at the thought of that, her mouth curled into a hint of a smile knowing that she had finally done something to stop it; it would all be over soon. As death approached, flashes of her life came into focus as she saw herself graduating high school, moving to Gotham, and working at Arkham. Her mother's face came into the light and looked at Harley with agony in her eyes as she looked at what was left of her helpless daughter.

"M-Mom..."

Harley's mother came close to her and placed her hand on Harley's cheek, covering the mark Joker's rings had left behind, "How could you let him do this to you Harleen? You were better than that.." Her mother gave Harley's face and body one last glance before tears fell from her eyes and walked away, clutching at her broken heart.

"Mom...wait, please come back! Please.." She fell to her knees, "i need you mom."

She knew that death was close and began to regret her decision, she needed to live; she needed to wake up from this nightmare and do right by her mother. She tried with all her strength to pull herself out of it, but it was useless. Her body was in it's most fragile state and she couldn't lift a finger to save her life. She wanted to scream out for someone to save her but no one was coming. Panic began to set in and her silent cries for help went unanswered. This wasn't supposed to be like this; this can't be how it all ends. Please, someone help me. Almost as if on cue, someone walked in to see Harley laying on the floor and rushed to her side, shaking her. It was Frost, sent up by Joker to check why Harley hadn't prepared his dinner yet. His eyes scanned over the room before his eyes landed on the empy orange jar where the pills used to be. He jammed his fingers down her throat trying his best to get her to cough the pills out but it wasn't working and he knew she didn't have much time left. Frost carried Harley's limp body downstairs and walked to the front door before being noticed by Joker. He placed her in the backseat of their car and headed out, making his way to Arkham. He placed her body on the doorsteps of the towering, grey building before grabbing Harley's hand and whispering in her ear, "Fight Harleen, and when you wake up...never come back. He will be the death of you." He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and walked away, leaving Harley in the only place he thought she could get help.

He took one last look through his rearview mirror as he drove away and for once, he felt comfort in knowing he did the right thing.