Drifting (Yaoi BoyXBoy)

One

One

I watched as Ryo woke up. He looks over at me, and mumbles a "good morning" under his breath. He shakes his brown messy bed head back, and fourth, and sighs.

"Morning," I said quietly. I looked over at him, hoping he would give me a kiss or a hug. Anything.....but no.

He gets up, and stretches. "Is there anything to eat?" He asks without facing me. I could only see the broad of his back. As always.

"No. I just woke up too." I grabbed my sweater, and placed it over myself. It was a chilly morning, but me and Ryo always slept shirtless out of habit.

He yawns, and gets up. "I'll just pick up breakfast at McDonalds or something." He drags himself into the bathroom sheepishly.

Ryo has been distant with me. We were so in love at one point. I often wondered what happened. What did I do to make him dislike me? What did I do to him that made him not lust for me or want me anymore? It breaks my heart, but I didn't want to confront it.

I didn't cheat, I didn't have feelings for another. I was faithful, but was he? He never seemed like he was having an affair. He got home at a normal time almost every night, and when he comes home from work, he was on schedule. What was it?

I ignored the devastating feeling, and went on with my day. I knew he wouldn't care if I just left the apartment without uttering a goodbye. He used to....damn....I miss it.

~~~

I walked down the main entrance to my college. My friend Shou walked up towards me, and hands me some coffee. We alternate on weeks who will buy who coffee. Luckily this week was his coffee buying privileges.

"Thanks." I took a hold of the hot beverage, and took a small sip to refrain from burning my tongue. That shit will be numb for an hour.

"You alright? You've been looking down lately. Is it that girlfriend of yours?"

Ryo, and I decided to keep our relationship a secret. We both mutually agreed that we didn't want anyone to treat us differently due to the fact we are both men in love. Or were in love. From that point on, we referred to each other as girlfriends. Was it wrong?

"Yeah. I don't think she is into me anymore." I sighed. My chest tightened up, and I almost wanted to cry. I just couldn't since I didn't want to be seen as weak. I am a guy...why do guys have a hard time crying? Society makes us feel bad. It isn't fair.

"What makes you think that?"

"When I leave, she doesn't give me a kiss or hug me like before. She, and I hardly see each other. Even if we do, we don't spend time together. I can just feel it." I sounded like a woman in distress. I hope to god that Shou didn't catch on.

He lets out a big sigh. "Seems to me that the love is fading. That happens sometimes. Have you tried doing something different? Maybe buy her something random, cook for her, and maybe get tickets to a concert?"

"I really don't have the income. She is the one that is working, and I'm going to school. If anything, I feel like she would have the income, and that is embarrassing."

Ryo wasn't doing well in school so he decided to take a break. Instead he works at a casino, and makes a decent amount of money. He is the one paying for my tuition, and living expenses. I mainly make sure the apartment is nice, and I cook for him. Other than that, I am pretty much useless until I graduate, and get my degree to pay him back.

Maybe Ryo is tired of it. Maybe he just doesn't want to support me anymore. I guess I can't blame him. I wouldn't want to support me either....

"Why not get a part time job? I have one. I'm working at a bakery with my aunt right now. I'm sure she will be happy to hire you." He smiles.