Fitoor | ✓

01 | Ek

A/N- Thank you so much for the support on this book guys, I really appreciate it. While reading this chapter, please keep in mind that it will touching Indian orthodox beliefs. Hence, before you comment anything, keep in mind that things are different in some parts of remote India. To give you an idea about it, I'll make the first few chapters introductory so they'll be small. I hope you enjoy the chapter anyhow! Also, this chapter is dedicated to calligraphics , her writing is A++ and you should definitely check her and her works out! 

Much love, Aashix

"Go, catch a falling star."

01 | Ek

Stars often fell. Mostly, in all the wrong places and burnt to ashes everyone and everything along with their hopes and desires and faith.

"Tara, it's best for you." Indira Singh Rajput said to her while she sat away looking outside the window into the darkness. Not a single star shone. Even nature attested to her despondent health and her dead husband's mother made matters only worse. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to cry but she knew too well now that the tears never came when you needed them the most. They betrayed you as much as people themselves.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said finally when she realised her mother-in-law wasn't leaving without taking an answer. A positive answer. Indian women were far too stubborn for their own good.

Indira took a few steps towards her daughter-in-law, her eyes hopeful. "It's also best for..." she stumbled.

"The baby." Tara completed her incomplete sentence.

"The baby." Indira repeated tiredly. She was an old woman in her sixties. The death of her oldest son had killed her heart and her daughter-in-law was making it tougher. Two weeks after the death of Kartavya, Tara found out she was pregnant with his baby.

Indira's dead heart had caught breath again. Maybe, it was God's way of returning her son to her. But how would the child live fatherless. It would be terrible for him to miss out a father figure. And how would he survive in the society, facing cruel peers. How would he feel when the other kids asked him where his father was. How broken would he be. He didn't deserve it. Her grandchild didn't deserve this.

"I am not going to marry my brother-in-law. You can leave now." Tara said firmly, her stoic voice had started to haunt her. When did she become like this? Wasn't the news of a child supposed to make her softer?

"Don't be selfish, Tara. Think about your child."

"The child is not just mine, he is my husband's too. And my child will grow up proudly knowing it's father died for our  country."

Indira almost screamed at her. She was frustrated, how was she supposed to put sense in the head of that foolish girl. She was getting a golden opportunity and she was missing out because of her pride and immaturity. Weren't the young people supposed to be smarter? She wished she could tell this to her husband so he could put some senses in Tara but she couldn't risk telling anyone now. The risks were too high. He wouldn't agree to the marriage, he wouldn't let a pregnant woman marry their only son left. Even if the child was their own blood.

She had to do something herself. She glared at Tara and scrutinised her stubbornness while Tara herself didn't turn to look back at the frustrated old woman even once. She left with a thump and a determined resolution in her mind. She was going to get Tara to marry her younger son.

* * *

When Indira left, Tara slowly picked herself up and shut the door to her room. She switched off the lights and lay quietly in her bed tangled in a warm blanket. She did nothing, her wide, sleepless eyes just stared at the ceiling. She hadn't slept in days, she was tired. And every time she closed her eyes, she saw blood. Blood not just of her husband but everyone else she loved. Her dreams were paranoid, her thoughts haunted.

A week ago she had found out she was pregnant. That she was finally going to have a baby, the baby her and her late husband were eager to have. She didn't feel happy, she didn't feel remorse. She didn't feel anything at all.

Maybe it hadn't hit her yet. She wished it hadn't hit her yet, because she didn't want to feel so stoic about the news of her baby. Her husband and her had planned so much for their first born. So many aspirations, so many dreams, all fell, all broke. She knew the loss of her husband had over powered the news of their baby. She didn't want that to happen but she was helpless in front of her own emotions. Or lack thereof.

She wanted to love her child, which she did. But she wanted her child to feel her love. She didn't want to bury it within her. Tara knew how important this was, she knew it because she had grown without her parents.

She had grown without her parents. Her thoughts lingered to what her mother-in-law had said the day she told her about the pregnancy. Don't let your child be fatherless. Don't let him suffer like you. Finally, a tear ran down her cheek. She didn't want her child to go through what she did, she really didn't but how could she re-marry. How could she do this so soon, and how could she marry the brother of her dead husband. And how could she protect her baby from this world.

Her mother-in-law was sure it was going to be a boy. She felt it was God's way of making things right, that her son was going to take birth again. What if her child was a girl, what then? There were so many problems. So many worries.

Tara wanted to protect her baby, she wanted to keep it in her womb and embrace it forever until she found the world safe for her child to come into. She wanted to go far-far away and start a fresh life. A life with her and a part of her blood until the broken star found it's way.