Fitoor | ✓

23 | Tayees

A/N- so this chapter is a bit intense, hope you like it! i have worked really hard on this one so i really-really hope it is worth it for you all. Also, feel free to share this book with your followers/friends and help the book grow! I have been dabbling with the idea what hopefully I can re-write Fitoor and one day send it to a publishing house, maybe! Also, the chapter is dedicated to droolingoverpizza for being such a great reader!

Next chapter will be updated when this one reaches 60! 

much love, aashix

23 | Tayees

No matter how hard you try to run away from your past, it was always catches up. And when it does, it strangles you, leaving you with no air to breathe, making you wish you were dead.

When Tara asked him about his past, Lekh put off his phone without a single word, shutting her out completely. He didn't have the time to think about how he had made her feel, he was too busy remembering his former life. Because that's how it went right? First you remembered, then you cribbed, then you came back to the present and cribbed about your present and how your past was affecting it.

Not a day went by when Lekh would not think about his life like it used to be. Well, until Tara came along. She became a distraction, he would think of her so much and that he would involuntarily forget about his scars and the time that gave them to him.

Tara was far away from his prior life with no connections or knowledge of it. She was the fresh air he had always longed for, someone who would give him a new beginning. Someone he could form a life with even though he never consciously awaited her.

Lekh pressed his fingers on his forehead, his head was bursting with pain as if someone was hammering it. He drank the ice cold water from the fridge and looked for medicines in one of the kitchen cabinets. It was one in the morning and his phone had been switched off since the time he had spoken to Tara in the morning. He had spent his day unusually in his room because he always preferred to be in the study regardless of his mood.

When he thought he couldn't stand anymore, Lekh sat on the kitchen platform in complete darkness in the house and heart. His brain wasn't working and his mind wasn't functioning. Things were incoherent for him. His past always haunted him, but today when Tara brought it up it had brought up his deepest fragility which seldom happened.

This was when a bottle of whiskey would become his companion and he would drown in his thoughts that would be as toxic as the alcohol he drank.

Sometime along the night, when in his mind hours had passed sitting on the kitchen platform in the dark, he found a figure approaching towards him. He was way too drunk to understand or second guess who it was, nor was he interested.

"Lekh."

His mother. Of course.

Maybe God had a grudge against him, why else would he make him so miserable.

"What are you doing here like this?" Indira asked worriedly.

Lekh didn't reply but just kept staring into the darkness as if nothing mattered. And at this point, nothing really did.

"Lekh?" Indira moved closer to him. The stench of alcohol hit her nose and she took a step backward. She wasn't sure if she was more worried or scared. "Lekh." She wanted to put her hand on his son's shoulder but she knew she'd be pushed away. She wasn't worth much anymore for the things she did, her own child thought it was wrong. After everything that she did for her children, they hated her so she pretended she hated them too.

What else could she do? She couldn't let them think they controlled her.

She was a strong woman of a very rich and respectable family. She had spent years building her reputation, she was respected and feared of. Indira was power.

"Lekh." She called after him again. If someone else saw him, he would be in big trouble. The house was full of guests, guests who would not take minutes to make a mockery out of their family if they found Lekh like this.

Lekh kicked the cabinet below him, a thud against the silence.

"You are a killer."

There was so much hate inside his words, in heart, in his soul that it suffocated him. He had never said this out loud. Not once. Not when it was done. Not when he was supposed to. He was a coward. A useless, good for nothing kid, person, lover.

No one should ever fall in love with you. That's what the old man had said when he had found out what Indira had done. When Lekh hadn't done anything. When everything had changed for worse and worst. When everything had come crashing down. When all the humanity had been lost. When Lekh had lost himself. When Lekh had lost someone he had loved.

Indira couldn't have been more shocked.

"Shut up. Just shut up." She blurted out. It felt really hot here in the kitchen. If there had been some light, she found herself all red. "Just keep your mouth shut, Lekh. I am done tolerating your nonsense and your good for nothing personality. Stop being so melodramatic all the time and straighten up before someone finds you like this."

"Or you'll do what? Kill me too?" Lekh's palms were now clenched into a fist, his nails digging into his skin and tearing out his flesh.

"I. Did. Not. Kill. Anyone." Every word Indira stressed also stressed her warning to Lekh to not push her. "Stop throwing accusations on your own mother."

Lekh laughed maniacally. "So typical of you mother." He drank the neat whiskey from the bottle sitting next to him and got up shaking, his body not able to maintain his posture. He put the bottle on the platform with a thump, so loud it startled Indira. She could smell his stench of alcohol and took a step back. What she didn't see was his smirk in the darkness. She also didn't see that she had turned her own son into a monster, one who didn't want to be one.

He staggered all the way upstairs to his room while Indira stood in her position looking at him from behind. He couldn't balance his body as the whiskey did its job well enough to cool down all his angered emotions. And when she knew he was in his room, fallen on his bed without consciousness, Indira came back into the kitchen.

And in the dark when no one saw and no one heard, she took the bottle into her hands and took a small sip to see what was in that whiskey that men fell in love with it more than their women. She drained the remaining whiskey into the sink as her own little sour sip drained her throat. She'd never get it; she'd never get why the whiskey was more desirable.

Indira wrapped the bottle in a black trash bag then threw it in the bin. Then covered the bin with more trash so the bottle would hide. Indira knew how to get rid of things she didn't want others to see.