Do You Remember? //Bucky Barnes x Reader//

Chapter 1

Its now December 16th 2012 its been 21 years since Howard and Maria died, your Mother and Father died, but that's not all that's on your mind. Earlier this year you found out your brother, who's name you barley recognised, didn't die in 1945 like you had been told but that he is still alive.
Nick Fury told you when Steve woke up, and SHIELD asked you to meet him, "it'll be good for him" they said. Obviously you agreed but you were still nervous about visiting Steven Grant Rogers. In fact you were so nervous that even though you hadn't done any drugs for months you were so scared, you just had too. "To ease my anxiety!" You told yourself.
Tony Stark, your best friend and brother, accompanied you when you were meeting Steve. He told you that you didn't have to go, that no one would mind if you didn't, but you wanted to go, you had to find out more about your past. So you did just that, you met your brother for the first time in almost 70 years.
When you saw him, you recognised his face and started to cry because you couldn't remember anything about him, not his middle name, not his favourite colour, only his face.
Upon seeing your tears Steven ran over to you and entangled you in his long muscular arms, tears running down his pale cheeks onto your checked shirt.
"I love you, (Y/N)" Steven said, you couldn't reply, a lump blocked your throat you barley even recognised this man, let alone know how much you used to love him. You stuttered an apology for not being able to say this back however this didn't bother him though he just kept hugging you until Tony coughed subtlety in the corner and said it was time to leave.
Since then Steve (that's what he told you to call him) has spent more and more time with you, telling you what you were like when you were younger, how things were, in exchange for knowledge of anything after the war.
Steve told you everything up until the war, he'd never get past telling you you went, never. You never asked. To afraid to open that door. However eventually you had to find out.
When you finally asked him what happened to you and he started to tell you about Bucky. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he told you how you had joined the war together, how you had joined the Howling Commandos together, how you had died together.
"From the second you met him you were inseparable, he always knew it was you, (Y/N) and (Y/N), you always knew it was him. You see the ring on your thumb, the one with the two interlinked hearts, he bought you that! It was the engagement ring, but you both wanted it to be more of a promise, that sort of, "wherever you go, I go" thing so you bought that one for $6 at a second hand store. He got a little chain and you promised to never leave his side, he vowed to always protect you. I think you both were very good at keeping your promises." He laughed a deep but breathy laugh, "Bucky Barnes loved you (Y/N), I'm sure wherever he is he still does."

The night after Steve told you about your ex Buck you were so confused you went out drinking, you didn't tell anyone, you just left, and got really really drunk. You woke up in a strangers bed, the smell of sex surrounding you. This was the first time since Howard found you that you were in a strangers bed.
Pulling you out of that situation was a panicked Steve asking where you were down your phone. Seeing as you weren't in your apartment like normal Steve started to worry when he came to get you to help him with his first mission back.
"WHERE ARE YOU?" he yelled "I need your help with something." Answering with a lie seemed the best opposition so telling Steve that you woken up early craving some plums seemed easy, you told him you had gone to the shop to get some and that you would be home soon.
When you arrived home a sweaty mess from running to see Steve you were confused to see the super soldier pacing around your front room. He didn't even notice your strange smell or the sweat that gave your face a bright shine. Ignoring you, he spoke a job for you and a few of his friends. "Fury asked, well, it was actually an order, we don't really have a choice to be honest (Y/N)."
"Did I tell you that I joined the army for a few years since I got back from god fucking knows where?" You said thoughtfully evading his question.
"Language, (Y/N)" Steve said with a tint of anger in his voice but it quickly smoothed over and turned to affection as he said "but no, you didn't!"
"Yeah five tours, I lost my best friend." You said "His name was James, he got shot in the head, nothing we could do. It was awful but I'm okay now."
You didn't understand why Steve started crying when you said James but he did.
*
The order turned out to be you, Steve, Tony, a girl you had known for a while (Natasha Romanoff) and the guy who turned into the hulk and Bruce Banner trying to find a Tesseract (who knows what it did) and a demigod named Loki, who's brother (Thor) is the god of thunder.
This situation turned out to be the infamous New York situation. However well you handled that situation at the time, your nightmares have only worsened, your anxiety is constantly through the roof.
*
Which leads you to now, panic attacks on the daily and a child. The person you slept with, before New York, (got you/ended up) pregnant but didn't want to be involved with their child. So they dumped it off on you.
When you told Tony he suggested you put the child up for adoption, but you just couldn't, you already loved your child more than anyone else, ever. That was one thing you would always remember.
Your child was born on just over a month ago, on January 28th and to be honest you loved being able to hold them in your arms.
You loved them.
*
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A/N I am gunna write more cause writing be fun!
Have a good day~TJ