bully (harry styles)

eleven

(A/N: A lot of people are asking me how I'm imagining Harry. I imagine him as how he is now (with his quiff and short hair) but with no tattoos.x)

''What do you mean 'nobody can know'?'' Harry questioned, he seemed angry.

''Nobody can know. Harry, I would tell you. But I can't...'' I said, looking down. Guilt. Selfishness.  That's what consumed my body right now. I felt so selfish that Harry told me everything about himself and I didn't even say a single word of what happened to my father. A story I've been waiting so long to tell someone about. The real story. The truth. What my mother knows is only the cover-up story. The cover story that they made me tell or I would have visited my father in Heaven that night. I was terrified that they would come back and look for me. They said if I kept my mouth shut, they wouldn't hurt me.

So I shut myself off. I didn't think about it anymore, I didn't want to think about it anymore. The nightmares kept reminding me, every single night.  I would go to sleep, praying that I would get a decents night of sleep.

''Whatever, if you're not gonna tell me shit then get the hell out of my house.''  I snapped my head up. It surely had to be the alcohol talking. This wasn't him. I kept repeating that to myself as I got up from the table.

''I hope you understand, Harry. Just like I understood for you.'' I whispered to myself. He was too far of a distance to even hear a single word I said. I took  slow steps towards my house, knowing what was about to come as soon as I entered my room.

I arrived my destination and layed down on the bed. I knew it.  Tears threatened to spill over, pain and ache filling my heart instead of that longing I have for the curly headed boy.  I let the pain take over, knowing I couldn't fight it off any longer. I finally broke down after all this time, letting all my terrible thoughts consume me. The bullying. My mother being close to death. Harry's past. Me being selfish and terrified to even speak of mine. It's too much. Too much for one person to handle in 24 hours. I layed down on my bed and cried for what seemed like hours, before sleep took over me. I hated this. I always wondered, why did I always have to feel the pain? The sorrow? I thought my mind has given me enough torture, but it seems like it keeps coming back for more.

......

I woke up, slightly confused before checking my phone and seeing what it says. 1 PM. I shrugged it off, not really caring since I didn't have school this week anyways. I walked to the bathroom, doing my business before I saw myself in the mirror. I gasped. My eyes were red from all the crying last night, the bags under my eyes looking worse than it has ever before. Then everything hits me. The heartache, the pain, everything came crashing down once again.

I didn't know if I was in denial, my mind kept telling me that it was the alcohol talking and not Harry. I didn't know that Harry had been through that, I thought his past was perfectly normal and happy, just like the rest of the people at my school, but you never know. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, the first person that I thought of was Harry.

I glance out the window,and my thoughts have been confirmed. It's him, probably coming over to apologize for last night. Probably to tell me sorry how he treated me, and he's probably going to hug me and keep saying sorry and sorry until i give in and end up forgiving him. No, that's not how it's going to happen. Not in this situation, I won't allow myself to forgive people too easily just so they can walk all over me again.

"Mickey, please open up." Harry yelled, but I ended up blocked his voice out.

All I heard were muffles of him calling out my name until he finally gave up, walking back over to his house. I didn't notice I was crying until I put my face in my hands. I don't know what to do right now, except go back to my bed and pick out a new book for me to read.

--

I woke up again to another knocking at the door, I checked the clock before running down the stairs. 6PM. I've never slept this long before, especially not with nightmares interrupting me every night. I questioned who was at the door, a part of me was begging that it was Harry, begging for him to come back and apologize and the other part wishes me it wasn't him.

I built up enough courage to open the door, hope to see a frowning Harry staring right back at me. Instead who I saw, was the complete opposite. Isabella.

''Isabella.'' I stated. I was in no mood to deal with her right now. When she especially put me through so much shit.

''Hi Mickey.'' Her voice was soft, a contrast to how she treated me during school this past year. What could have she possibly wanted?

''What do you want?" I snapped. I could take her rude comments and hurtful words anyday, but not today.

''I wanted to talk to you, especially after I heard about the incident.'' I finally looked over her face, black was covering the bottom of her right eye and there was a huge bruise on her left cheek from me. That bruise and black eye was from me. I felt like I should be happy, satsified but it didn't give me the exact feeling I was hoping for.

''What could you possibly talk about? About how pathetic I am? How'd you find me in the first place anyways?" I felt really creeped out,  how did she find my house?

She took a step towards me and wrapped her arms around me, ''I'm sorry,'' she whispered.

I pushed her back, ''Sorry about what? Calling me those terrible names after all this time? If you think I'm just going to straight up forgive you, you're wrong Isabella.'' I was honestly surprised by her actions and words, I will say that I do appreciate it but if she expects me to forgive her with only a sorry, she's dead wrong. I deserve an explanation.

''No, I know you won't forgive me that fast. But I was at the library,'' The look I gave her was evident when she laughed. It was a different laugh than what I heard during school. During school, she acted like a witch, dissing on everyone and pushing people around but as she stood in front of me, I saw a complete different person. ''Surprised? Well I go there often. Anyway, I was doing my project for school when a website popped up.'' She whispered.

I narrowed my eyes, waiting for her to continue. ''I didn't know about your father, Mickey. I  read what happened.'' She looked down, not wanting to see my reaction.

I gasped. What? What did she just say? Those were the words I least expected to come out of her mouth. It was on the news yes, but  it wasn't a nation-wide mystery. It was just a normal case  that happened in a small town, which two fugitives that had caused it never got caught. I told the police the same lies over and over again, I came running downstairs and saw my dad lying on the ground. The man I looked up to for so long over the past couple of years, to see him dead, laying on the floor.

''Mickey, I didn't know he was murdered. I wanted to apologize for causing you more and more pain than you had to go through already. I know I must've been a bitch towards you.. Well I was, but I don't know... A different person comes out of me when I'm with my friends. I was more worried about my own damn reputation than about others.''

I did not expect the night to end like this, Isabella showing up at my door, explaining to me why she treated people the way she did. ''Well, 'lemme tell you something, your reputation isn't the best right now either.'' I stated truthfully, if she was so worried about her rep, why did she continue bullying and picking on people? It surely  did not help her at all.

''I know, but I was considered the 'popular' girl of the school. I wasn't considered another lonely girl getting picked on, so when I moved to this school I saw a chance and I just.. jumped for it.'' I could see her glossy eyes, I'm confused more than before. Why would my bully be here, apologizing to me? I thought she was here to get payback to what I did to her face, but looks like my thoughts has proved me wrong.

Was she picked on before? She started picking on me ever since I took a step into that science class on the first day, but I had no idea about her past.

''I hope you can forgive me soon, I know I've caused you pain but I'm changing now. I don't want to be that person anymore.'' She smiled and turned on her heel, stalking back towards her car. I didn't quite believe her yet, people just don't change like that all the sudden.

''Wait! Isabella, how'd you find me here?" I questioned,

''I visited Harry a couple of times.''

She shrugged like it was nothing, before pulling out of my driveway.