Learning to Love Christmas

Chapter 14

XIV: Where Tree Tops Glisten

December 15, 2013

What just happened?

Did he actually just kiss me?

What the heck?

Those were the questions that kept me up the whole night.

I don’t even know what to feel. Should I be glad that I finally had my first kiss or mad that Oliver stole it from me?  I tossed and turned till the early hours, pondering over what I should do the next time I saw him.

By three o’clock in the morning, I told myself to calm the down and forget about it. It was just a spur of the moment thing. He doesn’t like me like that. The kiss didn’t mean anything to him. It didn’t mean anything to me too. I’ll just act like it didn’t affect me the slightest bit, like it didn’t happen at all. It would be better that way.

Still, there’s a part of me that won’t get over the feeling I got when he kissed me. A part that hopes he does like me like that, that sometime in the two weeks we spent together, he fell for me.

But that kind of thinking would mean I liked him. I don’t… do I?

Ugh, I don’t know how I feel. All I know is I’m going to play it cool. I shook my head, as if those thoughts could disappear by doing so.

Carol looked at me weirdly. “You keep spacing out, Elle.”

She went over so we could work on our math homework this afternoon. We always had trouble with the subject and we thought that it would be better to suffer with a friend than to suffer alone.

“Sorry.” I gave her a sheepish grin. “Uh, what did you get for question five?”

“Nope, you are going to tell me what the hell is up with you.” She used her pen as a bookmark and closed her notebook. “Spill.”

I felt butterflies stir in my stomach when thoughts from last night came tumbling back. I calmed down for a second before answering, “Oliver kissed me last night.”

I said it so casually that I almost convinced myself that it wasn’t such a big deal, that I wasn’t so freaked out about it on the inside.

“WHAT?!” She shrieked. I nodded and proceeded to tell her everything that happened. Thank goodness that Ethan was out with his friends again. If he wasn’t he probably would’ve barged in here and asked why was Carol shouting and knowing her, she’d answer him honestly.

“This is big news!” She said, pacing back and forth. “It’s your first kiss for Pete’s sake.” She looked at me in surprise when I was just silently doing my homework. “Why aren’t you freaking out?!”

I shrugged. “It was probably just a spur of the moment thing. He doesn’t really like me.”

“Wow.” She looked surprised. I’m betting she thought that I was all giddy inside and more than ready to burst out and proclaim my love for him.

Ha, Carol. You won’t be getting that satisfaction because I do not like him.

“And you’re ok with that?” She asked. “That bastard stole your first kiss! If I were you, I would be mad.”

“Well, the kiss wasn’t terrible so I have nothing to be mad about.”

“So you liked it?” She gave me another surprised look.

I shrugged even though I remember feeling a spark. “It’s not like I could compare it to another kiss.”

“I’d be happy to throw a punch or two, you know.” She offered.