In Between Myself And Lost

2~ ♥Dear Hatred♥

   It is for the best. I thought to myself as I packed up the last of my suitcase then sat on the bed I shared with the man I once loved, for the last time. Tears threatened to stream down my face but I fought against them. It was time I stopped pitying myself and moved forward with my life. The life I once knew was no longer here, somewhere between the lies and the deception it disappeared. 

    Avery and I agreed it was best to separate for the time being. Giving us time to think, I don't know if it'll fix anything or make matters worse but I hope it helps. He's distanced himself a lot lately, only sparing me small glances and making small talk. But it never helped, it only ended in anger or heartache. 

   Finally feeling ready to leave the house I grabbed my suitcases and started to pack them into my car. I decided to walk the home I had become so accustomed to for the last time. Starting at the kitchen, replaying memories of Avery and I cooking together, a smile formed upon my lips as I touched the beautifully marbled counters, I drunk in the enchanting white and black washed walls, and looked down at the soft marble that danced across the floor. Slowly I made my way to the living room, I sat on the arm of the elegant white sofa, and glanced at the gorgeous decor of the room. Family photos hung delicately on the sleek diamond patterned walls with loving quotes scattered perfectly around them. A shaggy white rug, that Avery and I had spent many nights cuddling on, was placed sweetly in front of the old brick fireplace, that we used to warm our bodies. Taking in the improvement of the room, I breathed in longingly, remembering when we first moved in and were too tight on money to offered any furniture or heat. Avery and I were very young, and worked hard to make this house our home. Working many nine to fives until we found careers we truly enjoyed. This house wasn't our beginning but it sure did feel like it. I didn't imagined I'd be saying goodbye to the home I loved so much, goodbye to the man I loved so deeply. I couldn't help but to shed a few tears. We were so very much in love, I wouldn't have pictured it to end in such heartache... Not being able to bare it any longer, I rubbed my tear stained eyes and started to stand up. Grief had now entered my heart..

    Suddenly I bumped into something firm, rather someone than something. I looked up, my eyes blurred from the tears and found myself swimming in a pool of crystal blue eyes. Avery. I was mesmerized by his beauty once again. He drew me in, a warm masculine arm snaked around my waist, and he used his free hand to place a gentle finger under my chin, titling my head so I had no choice but to look directly at his chiseled angelic face. Avery had the face of a God. His jawline sharp, angular and masculine. He had cheekbones that were high and prominent, making his actual cheeks appear to be hallow. His grandmother once told him, his cheekbones were a gift from his Indian ancestors.  His eyes were deep set and his iris' were colored like clear crystal blue ocean water, with light specs of green swirling thinly around his pupils. They were breathtaking and had a certain draw to them, one that could make your whole thought process disappear. Hesitantly I brought my hand up, leaving it to float inches from his soft, plump and full lips. His lips were one of the many reasons I'd fallen in love with him. An intoxicating subtle pink stained upon them. I let my hand fall back to my side as I averted my eyes to look at the arm he had captured around my waist. His skin smooth and soft like a baby's bottom. A complexion so exquisite, a fairly light olive tone graced him. It was blemish free, I'd never seen so much as a pimple implanted on it. Avery's looks were venomous, a poison I'd proudly bask in. Slowly I tried to retract from his dangerously close hold. 

"Let go Avery.." I whispered through tears. But he didn't, he only embraced me tighter, bringing the hand that held my chin to meet with the arm snaked around my waist. Suffocating me with his strong, lean, muscular build. I knew I could've tried to fight him. Tried to resist him, but I didn't. Why? Because that had been the first time he held me in three long months. The first time he had comforted me in a year. I hated to admit it, but I needed it. I needed a hug, I needed love. Not just anyone's... only his.