Note: Made this one into a separate book (from my book "Shorts", chapters titled "Trading Places"). I will upload the first two chapters over the weekend, but if you haven't read those yet, please don't proceed with this.
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The endorsement shoot was problematic, to say the least.
Maine & Alden kept getting mixed up with the instructions. One shot called for them to hug, with both of them facing the camera, while Maine was nestled in the crook of Alden's neck.
As they rehearsed, Maine did as instructed.
The director yelled, "Alden, bakit ikaw ang sumisiksik diyan?!"
People on the set looked at them strange as Maine, in Alden's 5'10" body, was trying to fit into Maine's smaller frame.
Mama Ten, who had been catching them the whole morning mixing up their names, scolded, "Hindi ko alam kung ano na naman trip niyong dalawa ha? Pero marami pa tayong gagawin, tigilan niyo na ang laro niyo."
To compensate, they made sure to listen to instructions for both of them and they coached each other during takes.
Fortunately, the shoot went better after that and soon enough, the Director yelled, "Pack up!" Maine did her pack up dance.
The teams gave her another look. "Maghiwalay nga kayo minsan! Pati sayaw, ginagaya mo na Alden."
She was immediately contrite, while Alden was trying to suppress a laugh.
Mama Ten whisked Maine away to head to another shoot. "Halika na, Rj! Baka hindi tayo umabot sa susunod."
Alden caught her long enough to whisper, "Full yung schedule ko, sabihan mo agad si Ma kung hindi mo na kaya ha? Wag mong pilitin."
"Kaya ko 'to. Ikaw yung mapapahamak if I don't do this," she said, sadly. "I'm supposed to meet Jan kasi nagtatampo na, ang tagal ko na hindi nagpapakita. But, you can cancel. Awkward naman kasi."
"No, sasamahan ko si Janeeva. Balitaan nalang kita." He promised before she was whisked away by Mama Ten.
***
Thankfully, his next engagement was a pictorial so it wasn't too difficult. However, Maine was finding that posing as a Alden was very different from hers - there were certain angles that she just had a difficult time nailing.
I never realized it was this difficult to get Rj's good shots! Ang gwapo niya na, hirap pang makakuha ng maayos? Paano pa kaya yung photos ko, she thought ruefully.
Taking his place was difficult. Alden was constantly shuffled from one event to another; add to that during events, he was briefed on so many other things going on in his life and it was slowly overwhelming her.
So, was adjusting to having something hanging between her legs - or his legs.
She chuckled at the difficulty she had this morning after she dropped her call with Alden.
One, Maine realised she didn't know how to shave. So, she skipped it. She didn't want to be the cause of Alden's face being nicked everywhere.
Two, though she was pretty sure Alden wouldn't take a peak of her lady parts when he bathed, she realised his parts were much harder to keep her eyes off of - especially, when it started to, ummm, get excited. Maine was also finding that even relaxed, as long as she looked down, she could see that while she was in the shower.
Hindi ko talaga siya sinisilipan! Promise po! She thought. Kaya lang kasi nakikita ko lang talaga. Sorry, Rj! Wala akong choice. Ang laki pala niya talaga. Hohmaygahd. Pag balik namin sa sariling katawan, #StayStrongMaine na dapat ang HT
The most difficult part of this set-up is that she can only hold her curiosity at bay for so long.
Stay strong, Self! Stay strong. Or don't? Okay lang naman daw sabi ni Rj, di ba? And if I touch, it would be normal -
Meng! Ano ba yan. Focus sa work. Focus.
Shit, Junjun behave!
Meanwhile, Alden was spending time with Janeeva, who dragged him underwear shopping. "Bes, maganda ba 'to?"
"Umm ewan." He avoided his gaze. "Wag mo nga ako guluhin. Basta mamili ka nalang diyan. Ayokong malaman kung anong sinusuot mo pag nagmomoment kayo ng boylet mo."
"Inggit ka lang kasi hindi nagwork yung binalak mong harot moment sa anniv niyo."
Alden stared at her. "Ano?"
"Di ba sabi mo hindi ka sinipot? May biglaang shooting. Kaya ayan, umuwing luhaan. Sayang."
Shit. What? Maine had plans for them on their anniversary? Tanga mo, Rj!!!
Jan looked at her watch. "Halika na! Baka ma-late tayo sa appointment natin."
***
Maine calling...
Maine accepted the FaceTime call through his laptop. She was finally home at Alden's condo, surprisingly an early finish for him. Her face popped up. After getting over the initial shock of seeing her face and being reminded of their current dilemma, she noticed that he was lying in bed, crying. "Rj?Anong nangyari?!"
"KINGINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What? Are you okay? Maaga ba akong nagkaron? May dinosaur na? What?"
"KINGINA NAMAN EH!"
"ANO BA? BAKIT KA BA GALIT?"
"BAKIT HINDI MO SINABI YUNG PLANO NIYO NI JAN FOR TODAY?!"
Maine was stunned, then laughed hysterically. "OH. MY. GOSH. Sorry! It slipped my mind! You did it?!"
"OO. KINGINA. Malay ko ba! Nasa loob na ako nung pinaghubad ako! KINGINA ANG SAKIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!"
Maine continued to laugh, tears coming to her eyes.
"Wag kang tumawa! Punyemas, may natanggal yata yung babae nung hinila nung babae. Wag mo akong sisihin pag hindi na kumpleto yung katawan mo pagbalik mo."
"Rj! They know what they're doing!"
"Talaga?! Eh bakit ang sakit?! KINGINA! Tapos, pinadapa pa ako! Kingina!"
Maine doubled over, guffawing. "They really have to do pati back."
"KINGINAAAAAAAA. Ang hapdi! Maine, namamaga yata eh!"
"I have a cream there sa dresser. You have to put that on... Oh shit, I'm going to regret this... But you have to put that on ummm there."
"NO. ----INA. WALANG HAHAWAK SA KIN. WALA. KAHIT IKAW. WALA! LAYUAN NIYO AKONG LAHAT."
"Poor Baby. Sorry! Sorry. I really forgot about that. I have pain relievers -"
"SAAN?! ILAN ANG PWEDE KONG INUMIN?!"
"Huy! Isa lang. Okay?"
Maine didn't stop laughing, while he walked awkwardly to the medicine cabinet.
Alden Richards, Pambansang Bae, just experienced his first brazilian waxing session.
