A Collection of Short Cliché Stories

Chapter 1: The Vampire Cliché

Author’s note: You probably won’t read this note, BUT if you do, you’re awesome. I just want to say that this book is like a mock book, or a “parody”. And note that I myself have made these mistakes on previous books, and I’m making fun of those really early (grimacing, deep with cliché) books.

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Chapter: The Vampire Cliché

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BEEP BEEP.

I opened my eyes and with great dismay turned my alarm off. Of course I dreaded this day. First day of school on a new town we unexpectedly moved to in short notice. Go figure.

I stepped out of bed and stretched, yawned and slipped on my fluffy J.Crew slippers. I headed to my own private bathroom and jumped in the shower.

After a long hot shower (I don’t even know how I’ve got time to do this in the morning) I combed my long strawberry blonde hair. Put mascara, eye liner and lip gloss. (And I surprisingly didn’t look at all slutty!) I put on a crop t-shirt and some shorts and paired it along with some sandals, because apparently it was OK coming to school with my midriff showing.

I descended the stairs and was welcomed with the glorious scent of pancakes.

“Good morning honey” My mom greeted me. I smiled at her, she for the very first time looked happy since a long time.

“I made pancakes for you” She added. I pulled a chair out and check my watch. Darn it! I was late for school.

“Sorry mom! I’m late! Thanks though!” I ran out of the house and jumped in my car, turned on the ignition and managed to get to the school just minutes before the bells rang.

I opened the double doors and everyone stared at me. Guess they have never had a new student before whatsoever. I headed to my locker they assigned me and got surprised when I saw who I was next with. The Queen Bee (who managed to dress with less clothes than me).

“What do you want pudgy nerd?” She hissed. I looked down to my perfectly flat stomach. Geez, she was right. I am pudgy.

A series of nasal laughter resounded by the two minions behind her, who were all dressed in pink and were less pretty than their Queen Bee. They all smirked, crossed their arms and left me by myself.

The bell rang and everybody got into the classrooms. I opened my locker and quickly placed and took the books I needed. A teacher came by and ushered me to the classroom.

Once I entered the classroom, everyone stared at me (again). The teacher glared at me and tapped her foot impatiently against the floor.

“Class, this is April Charity Hope Destiny McAdams” The teacher said. “You’re late, you have afterschool detention. Go sit next to the superhot dude”

I nodded and walked past her, set my books on the desk and sat down. I zoned out of the class not paying attention, but apparently even if I talk during all the class I manage to get good grades and not fail.

“Hey” The superhot dude said with a deep voice “I’m Troy Phoenix Midnight”

“Midnight? What kind of name is that?” I asked

“Well what kind of name is Charity Hope Destiny blah blah?...truth is, my last name holds a life turning (non-surprising plot-twist) event and experiences if I tell you”

“Ok, I’m totes fine by it by the way”

“Cool”

A door flung open interrupting our intense eye contact. Inside came the Queen Bee who attacked me on my locker.

“Serena Ramona Milan, you are late to class” The teacher said.

“Sorry” She said faking a sweet tone.

“It doesn’t matter. Since you’re the Queen Bee of this school you won’t have detention”

I immediately stomped my foot. How dare she give me detention and not her! Serena turned her head towards me smirked and then frowned.

“Why is my boyfriend sitting next to you? You freaky nerd!” Serena squeaked.

Boyfriend?!

Serena scoffed and made her way towards me.

“You are on my seat” She said.

“No, I’m on the school’s chair” I responded.

“Actually, my daddy owns this school”

What?! I totally didn’t expect that!

“BURN!” A random kid yelled from his seat.

“Go Serena! Go Serena! Go Serena! Go Serena!” All the class chanted, the teacher didn’t seem to mind or do something against it.

Why does everyone root against me?

The class quieted down, and for the rest of the period I stared blankly ahead. I sensed Troy’s eyes piercing towards me, but I still was mad at him. Why didn’t he tell me he had a girlfriend? Even though I didn’t ask, I’m still mad without a good reason.

The rest of the day Serena made fun of me. I could still feel Troy’s eyes on me though. Once school was over I smiled relieved. I drove back home and ran to my room, locked myself in and laid flat on the bed.

A sudden knock on the window made me turn over. I shrieked when I saw Troy peering from the other side.

How did he get there?

I opened the window, Troy jumped in and casually leaned on the wall.

“Are you ok? Even though I’m a superhot mysterious dude, I have deep, caring feelings for people I recently meet”

My lips quivered and I came rushing to Troy without a good reason at all. I buried my head in his chest while he soothed me. Before I knew it, Troy and I were on an embrace. Our lips came in contact, a super cheesy and colorful sensation swarm over me. And in less than five seconds, Troy bit my neck.

“What the hell?!” I shrieked. Troy licked his lips and his fingertips smeared in my blood.

“I’m a vampire” He whispered. He dramatically turned his head, clenched his jaw and caressed my face.

“I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, even though you were wearing slutty clothes like Serena. I knew you were kind, sweet and super caring. I love you…uhh…what was your name again?”

“April”

“April, I love you”

Troy then proceeded to kiss me again. Years later we moved into a little cabin in the woods and had baby vampires that sucked the life out of me.

THE END.