Grand Theft Paw Patrol 5

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

   Franklin barged into Lester's house, and Ryder and the pups followed. Normally Trevor is the one to rudely barge in.

"Man, we finna do this! We finna take down Merryweather!"
"Fuck yeah! Take down Don Percival and those left wing government stooges once and for all!" Lester celebrated.

"As long as they get taken down and don't go after my family again, I'm willing to do this," Michael said.
Ryder and the pups came into view.

"There you are! You... oh you all are gonna be fucking heroes!" Lester said as he attempted to hug Ryder, "Come on, give Uncle Lester a hug!"
Ryder gave in a hugged Lester. He smelled like old man and pain killers. He wasn't an old man though. Lester just clung to Ryder, but Ryder tried to leave his grip.
"Uh, I think this went long enough," Ryder said.

Ryder had to push Lester away.

"Don't be such a pedophile Lester," Michael taunted.

"I'm not a pedophile, I'm just really intimate with those who help me with uh... our problems... wait a minute!"
Lester observed Ryder and the pups, then jumped onto his computer. He realized who this boy and motley crew of pups were. He pulled up an image of the lookout and the pups onto his computer.
"You're the... Paw Patrol. I thought... what!?"
"How do you know who we are?" Ryder asked, getting more and more creeped out by Lester.
"I didn't think you all were actually... You... you actually go around solving problems for people?"
"That's us! The Paw Patrol!" Chase said proudly.
"What the fuck!?" Michael yelled as he backed away.

Lester screamed and fell out of his wheelchair. He grabbed his cane to try to stand back up. His scream was absolutely priceless.

"What the fuck just happened?" Franklin asked.

"That dog just fucking talked! Did you not hear it!?" Lester panicked.

Franklin's a dog whisperer, so he thought nothing of it.

"There's no way you didn't hear that, Frank!" Michael said.

"Well, I thought nothing of it the first, but I guess it is kinda different."
"Why does everyone freak out when we talk?" Skye asked.

"Do all six of you talk!?" Michael asked.
All the pups started talking at once. Ryder was cracking up at Lester and Michael's reactions. He just hoped they didn't treat the pups like Trevor did.

"Well... uh... how about we get to planning how to take down Merryweather and the IAA before they blow you to the stone age, and come back to American soil," Michael offered.
"That sounds nice," Ryder said.

"Alright, so as I was saying, I did some research to try to fi..." Lester was interrupted.
"Can I have a belly rub?" Marshall asked.

"Can I finish saying what I have to say? Besides... I'm still a little... creeped out by you talking..."
Marshall jumped onto Lester's lap, and Lester screamed in pain.

"Ah! I have a very serious illness that causes a great load of pain!"
"I'm sorry!" Marshall licked Lester to make up for it.
"Can someone get this dog off of me!?"
Franklin picked up Marshall, and sat down with him on his lap. He'll adore the pups if the others don't.

"If I don't get interrupted, I can tell you! I was looking at satellite imagery, of Foggy Bottom, and looking at any other nearby forces, and I read about the Paw Patrol. I thought that was a hoax, apparently not. I was able to zoom in, and I saw an outpost. Look, Don Percival, and Karen Daniels!" Lester observed.

"There's Mayor Humdinger!" Ryder noticed.
"Who?" Franklin, Michael, and Lester asked at once.

"He's probably the one responsible for all this. He has a rivalry with our town. He and our Mayor had been enemies for years, then all of a sudden, we were all friends until now," Ryder explained.