Pencils

Chapter Two

I sat huddled in the passenger seat my arms folded tightly across my chest trying to conserve my warmth, my forehead was against the cold window and my breath fogged the glass each breath made the fog recede as if it were breathing on its own.

“Stop you are smudging my windows!” My boyfriend barked.

I jumped and murmured “Sorry.” An uneasy chill settled over me like a thick blanket as i gripped the sides of my shirt tighter in my shaking fists, maybe he was surprising me maybe it's not what i think. “Where are we going?” I mustered the courage to ask. “Ted?”

He pulled off on the side of the road jerking the wheel, the sound of crunching gravel barely subsided before he turned off the engine and started yelling “Shut up!” He hit the steering wheel. “You little bitch you’ve been cheating on me!”

“What are you talking about?” I shook even more at his explosive outburst.

“ ‘What are you talking about” Ted mimicked me. “You know full well what i'm talking about! Were you or were you not with Jimmy Taylor yesterday after school?”

“I-i was,” I spoke quickly. “I just needed help with math i didn't understand the lesson and he offered-”

Ted looked at me with murder in his eyes, i said the wrong thing i knew it as soon as he roughly grabbed my arm and my eyes widened with the all too familiar feeling of fear. I jerked away and stumbled out of the vehicle, attempting to run to the other side of the road but he grabbed my waist and jerked me back raising his hand he struck me across the face. Something inside me snapped and  I turned and clawed at his face immediately he let go and i began to run, i saw train tracks and heard a train coming. I saw a way out i just needed to be faster than the train, i ran and begged my legs to keeping running, a burst of adrenaline pushed me over the tracks and into safety. I heard the rumbling of a truck and the screaming of the train as he attempted to get over the tracks. No. He wouldn't try. Everything happened so quickly. The train smashed into the truck and shoveled it along the tracks unto it came to a full stop.  I stood there barely breathing, stumbling to the truck i stepped through the broken glass the crunching sounding like broken bones. I peeked into the window and covered my mouth, Ted's head was bent at an odd angle his eyes partially open staring at me his arm was twisted and white bone was peeking through the skin. A pair of hands yanked me back and i saw it was a man in a bright orange vest, he must've been from the train, he was saying something but i couldn't hear. He then began to shake me, why was he shaking me?

I woke up breathing heavily i was covered in sweat and rolled over to my back, my heart was pounding so hard it hurt. A door opened and my grandma walked in. “Taryn? Are you ok?” She sat down my bed sinking slightly under her weight. “Did it happen again?”

Silence. I couldn't find the bearings to answer her, not yet at least. I could still smell the smoke, the burning flesh as if it were a permanent smell i would never get to forget.

“You are going to see your therapist tomorrow, i want you to tell her everything this time.”

I sat up right. “Are you kidding me.”

She wiped her hands  on her pink frilly apron. “Yes. You don't talk to me and even if you did i wouldn't be able to help you the way she can.”

I got up. This was ridiculous one bad dream and i have to go see a shrink. “Fuck!” I yelled and jammed my feet into my shoes before running out of the house. I ran to the park that was nearby and sat down on a bench it grew dark and colder and I forgot my coat, this day couldn't get any worse. Just then a clap of thunder boomed throughout the sky and a streak of light lit up the clouds. Right of course it can get worse. I crossed my arms and rubbed them gently to bring back some heat. God. I'm not a victim I'm  just a really unlucky person. I'm not the victim. I'm not the victim. Ted is I killed him, it was my fault that he drove onto those train tracks if it weren't for me he would be alive. The thunder startled me and I crouched down in the dirt covering my ears as I imagined the train tossing the bright red truck down the tracks.

“Taryn?”

I looked up with tears brimming my eyes, Callum? How? No why. Why are we constantly running into each other. I wiped my eyes and my gross runny nose with the back of my hand. He took off his running jacket and threw it on top of me looking slightly embarrassed. “Are you okay?”

“Im fine.” I didn't have the energy to say anything else. “What are you doing out here?”

He gave me a strange look and ran his hand through his wet black hair. “Well I was running and then I saw you. And I also want to apologize for for the library I didn't mean to upset you.”

I pulled his jacket around my body and stared up at him. He shouldn't be apologizing to me I should be the one saying sorry not him. “No.” I shook my head and stood. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude to you. It was uncalled for.” I stuck out my hand. “Let's start over. Im Taryn.”

He smiled widely and took my cold hand in his warm one. “Im Callum its good to meet you.”

“Well Callum it's good to meet you too.” Another clap of thunder roared and I jumped. “I should probably go home I'm sure my grandma is looking for me.” I began to take off his jacket.

“Don't worry about it. You can give it to me on Monday.” He turned away and ran off giving me a little wave. “Seeya!”

“Seeya” I whispered back before heading home. As I reached the doorknob of my front door I found a little smile creeping on my lips, maybe this wont be so bad after all.