Pencils

Chapter Three

The streets of Seattle were just waking up but a stream of traffic was already alive with the sounds of horns honking and cars racing by trying to work up the giant hill. Businessmen in their blue suits raced around in hopes of getting to work in time while balancing a cup of Starbucks and the newspaper. I wished i could be one of those other people, with their busy schedule and hectic lives, but instead i stood in front of a therapy clinic heaving a sigh of annoyance. I opened the door and there she was already waiting for me waving me to the back office. I situated myself in the leather chair furthest from her, i found it was easier to talk or just be in the same room if i  weren't so close. In fact i found a lot of things are easier if i weren't so close.  Miss.Yen was a small asian lady with long black hair she pushed her circle framed glasses up the bridge of her petite nose and grabbed a pad of paper.

“So Taryn. Your grandma called me and told me briefly of what happened yesterday.” She crossed her leg over the other and sank into her office chair. “Why don't you tell me what happened.”

“I-i” Just thinking about explaining what happened made a lump rise in my throat. “It was just a dream, it was about Ted that's all.” She looked at me as if she wanted me to keep the conversation going. “That's all.” I repeated as if i were a broken record. “That's all.” I clenched my hands together and gritted my teeth to keep tears back but it was too late the first one fell and rolled quickly down my cheek before i had time to catch it or wipe it away.

“It seems that you are still stuck in denial but you also jumped to depression. Taryn you need to understand that everything that happened wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known that he was going to follow you across the train tracks, you were trying to save and protect yourself from further harm.”

I looked at her angrily. “Exactly! I was protecting myself i should've protected him or helped him! Not do something selfish that got him killed.”

Miss. Yen slowly shook her head and had a sad smile. “It wasn't selfishness. It was survival and deep down you know that, deep down you know that it was an accident and that you had to get away from him before further harm came to you.” She leaned forward. “You know you didn't deserve the abuse, from before or then.”

I froze. Before. My parents. No. I stood. “I'm going to be late for school.” Grabbing my backpack i left and hurried to hell, i tried to shake the overwhelming memory of my parents, my mother mainly. Before i knew it i had already arrived with thirty minutes to spare.

I hummed Hold on till May by Pierce the veil softly while shoving my books into my puke green locker, i shut the locker and jumped at the sight of Callum leaning against the nest door locker. “Oh, hey.” Why did i feel so nervous?

He smiled “Hey. Whats up?”

“Nothing really just putting some stuff away and then i'm heading to first period.”

“Oh ok.” He pointed at me. “Nice jacket.”

I looked down and mentally facepalmed. I was wearing the jacket he gave to me yesterday in the rain. “Here.” I began to take it off. “It was chilly out so i layered my coats.”

“No don't worry about it, it's fine. I was just saying it looked nice, i mean the color looks nice on you.” Callum scratched at his neck awkwardly. “I'm not trying to be weird or anything.”

“N-no you are not being weird at all.” I zipped the coat back up. Just as i was about to say something else the bell rang signalling that class was starting. “Well seeya later.” I left as fast as i could. God it was warm. I made it in the nick of time, my ass hit the chair before the final bell could mark me tardy.