Neighbor // j.b feat. c.b [bwwm]

twenty-two | warm fires

To say I needed this vacation would be an understatement. Just waking up to a new room, a new place, that my ex has never been to or stepped foot in was so refreshing. I had no memories that allowed me to imagine him sitting on the edge of the bed on his phone or standing in front of the mirror, shirtless, as he brushed his hair. It allowed me to think and to breathe. Because believe it or not, Ive felt short of breath for the past few weeks. For the first time in a while I actually woke up with a smile on my face and no bad thoughts. And that's something I could only thank Justin for. He did make this trip happen, afterall.

We got up bright and early, Justin woke up a little earlier than I did. When I woke up I saw that he had ordered breakfast for us to enjoy. I wasn't expecting it at all so it was a nice little surprise. I had a feeling that it'd be one of many to come while we're on this trip.

"Morning." I said to him as I sat at the table, giving him a warm smile.

"Morning." he replied, returning the smile I gave him as he sat across from me.

"So, what do we have planned for today?" I asked.

"Well... I was thinking we could maybe go skiing? Or snowboarding... whatever you're comfortable with." he replied. I got a little nervous. I've never done either, and honestly just the thought of those lifts scared me a little bit. So I don't know how this is going to work out. "I can see in your face how nervous you are." he said, a small smile following shortly after.

"I've just... never done anything like that before." I admitted.

"That's okay. Showing you new things is what I'm here for, babe." He playfully winked before smiling my way. I returned his smile but the butterflies in my stomach at the thought of being up so high didn't ease.

After we ate breakfast, we headed out. I don't know if it was the cold or my nerves but I was shaking the whole way there. I picked out my ski gear and Justin paid for it, even though he didn't have to. He probably could've rented it but since he bought it, I felt obligated to use it more. Maybe I'd be coming out here more often? It's nice, outside of how cold it is. I might consider it.

"Okay so this is all about balance and controlling your board. It's easy." Justin said. I chose the board over the skis and he insisted on being the one to teach me. For some reason, the instructor allowed it. Even let us go off a little more to the side so he could do it more privately. I guess when you're as well known as Justin is, you just tend to get your way a lot.

"Easy? We'll see about that." I replied. He let out a laugh, but helped me get situated & secure with my board. As he did all the work, I looked around. The sun reflected off the snow in such a pretty way, making it shimmer. It was so bright out here, just looking around made me feel happy. It wasn't even really cold out either, but maybe I had my layers of clothing and snowboarding gear to thank for that. Either way, I'm grateful. I'm not a big fan of the cold.

There weren't that many people out here, just a few groups, some couples. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, which was nice to see. Couples laughed together, holding glove covered hands and falling together. They all seemed so happy together, like relationship goals, as they say on Twitter. I never really understood those posts until now..

"Okay. Have you ever been skateboarding?" Justin asked me. I adverted my gaze from the couples and back to him. He glanced in the direction I was looking. I hadn't realized he was done strapping me into the board.

"Skateboarding? No. That was forbidden growing up, so I never got into it." I told him. He smiled, but I wasn't exactly sure why.

"Okay, so snowboarding is all about balance." He walked around behind me then placed his hand on my shoulders. "Keep your shoulders pointed in the direction of the board." His hands traveled down to my waist, gently applying pressure to my back with one hand as the other gripped my side. I shivered as I felt a tingle down my spine at his touch. "Keep your back straight." he said. I tried my best to do as he said, probably overthinking it all. "You're gonna fall a few times. Don't try to break your fall by putting your hands down, that's how most people break their wrists." He walked back into front of me. I hadnt noticed he didn't strap himself into his own board until he began the process in front of me. Once he was done, he stood up and took me by the hand.

"You'll kinda be using your hips to guide how you want the board to turn and where you want to go, but I'll help you with that as much as I can. It's all in the hips." he told me before asking if I was ready and I nodded my head even though I clearly wasn't. I had no idea what I was doing but I wasn't really scared, because he was here. I knew he wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to me when he could prevent it.

"I'll go first." He moved around the area we were in, twisting and turning his hips as he moved so seemingly effortlessly on his board. I watched him, making sure to keep an eye on his hips and overall posture so I could try to imitate whatever he was doing.

This went on for a while. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get the hang of skiing or snowboarding or whatever I was doing. If just standing and going straight was all I had to do, I'd be a pro. Unfortunately, it involves turning and stopping and a bunch of other stuff that I couldn't do. I had to fall numerous times just to stop going further down the hill. After a while, we just gave up, and went back to the cabin.

"That was fun, right?" Justin asked. I had just gotten myself settled in, trying to gain some warmth by burying myself under covers on the couch.

"It was... an experience. That's all I'm gonna say." I said, slightly laughing afterwards.

"Well next time we come up here, we can do whatever you want." he replied. I was a little surprised by his boldness in this moment. But maybe I shouldn't be at this point.

"Next time? You sure there will be a next time?" I asked him. He chuckled, like the idea of me asking that was so amusing.

"Oh, I know there will be a next time." he replied.

"Oh really? How do you know that?" He sat next to me on the couch, lifting the covers and scooting in to get as close to me as possible without me being on his lap and stretched an arm behind me on the couch.

"Are you not enjoying your time with me?" he asked.

"Yeah... I am." I replied. It was the truth. I haven't felt this relaxed and at peace for a long time and we haven't even been here long.

"So you'd come back up here with me... right?" I couldn't seem to get my eyes to focus. They kept choosing to focus on his mouth as he spoke, even when he was done. It really didn't help that we were so close in this small space. He moved his hand towards my face, rubbing my cheek before placing a thumb on my chin. He softly pulled his thumb down until I felt my bottom lip pop out of my mouth. I had no idea I was even biting it.

"Would you?" he asked. I finally looked at his eyes to see him staring back into mine.

"Um... wait, what was the question?" I replied. He chuckled.

"I'll just take that as a yes." he said. Now he allowed his thumb to rub across my bottom lip. "You know you can ask me for anything, right? I'll always try to work something out for you." he admitted to me. He had a way of seeing right through me, telling me exactly what I needed to hear or what I wanted to hear. Right now it just felt like confirmation.

"Can you... move over a little bit? It's getting pretty hot." I told him. He looked a little surprised as he dropped his hand from my face and put some space between us, and I knew why. As much as I wanted another kiss from him, it just felt wrong. But I had no idea why. Chris is probably kissing whoever he wants, and doing whatever else with every girl he sees. Why was I still trying to tip toe around what he wouldn't want me to do? He clearly never has. And he's painting a picture like I'm the one in the wrong anyway.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped any boun-" Justin couldn't even finish his sentence before my lips were on his, taking in the moment I wanted so badly. His hands instantly went to their preferred places on my waist and the back of my neck.

Something about this moment felt like more than just another kiss. It felt like.. like freedom, like I was working towards happiness again.

-

so.... *sips tea* justin is engaged, that ish wild right?

anywho, this story bout to turn up real quick. and i mean REAL quick, i've been played this storyline too safe. you've been warned. :)

check out my other story that's a complete 360 from this. it's called 'Monsters'