Indentations

Beta Hall

Walking into beta hall,
Past ceation's doors.
Begin plans where fall.

To left balcony lies,
Not the one you'll choose.
Looking down to the ground,
Children and teachers spied.

Walking continues down the hall,
You're looking at the end.
Bright light pouring through,
It's blinding pulls you in.

You enter into limbo,
The middle of the hall.
And collapse onto the floor,
Hitting it hard.

Hope wishes for someone,
Yet knowing none will come.
You cry into silence,
Then get up and walk away.

You block it from your mind,
Hide it from your thoughts.
Pretending no act happened,
Knowing it did.

One walk,
One bath,
A loss of control,
And one year later.

Thoughts stab your mind,
Cripple your heart with tears.
They claim you never tried,
They scream in person of first.

"I never tried,
I never did,
I lied about it all,
And did it for the praise..."

So you cry in silent nights,
Knowing what you did.
Knowing the voices lie,
And hating yourself for them.

You know what you did,
You blocked out dates to cope.
You rid the past from your head,
To move on from what occurred.

Four times,
Head counts.
Recalling all events.
Dates placed on acts you left without.

Your moves are used against you,
The voices call your bluff.
Bluff that was never there,
Yet you begin belief.

Through pushing out,
And self-trust,
The voices begin to go.

And fake guilt rides away,
To take surviving soul,
And return when sad gets you.