Moment of clarity

A moment of Clarity part 1

Severus hated the cold. And occlumency sessions with the brat. Not only did they break up his only night durring the week where he had any peace and quiet but the boy kept getting dangerously close to things he would rather keep to himself. And... he hated the cold. Not that he would ever admit it.
"Arrhh" He growled under his breath as he stuffed books and artifacts into his expandable bag. Sighing rather dramatically he made his way to an unused potions classroom close enough to his own quarters so that he didn't have to go too far. The only joy he would have this evening would be the look of dejection on that spoiled brats face...
"Again" Snape growled, his patience with the child having worn thin about an hour ago. "Clear your mind" Harry forced air from his slightly burning lungs through his flared nostrils "It's not my fault I keep getting stuck" Severus rolled his eyes and paced... there must be a way to teach this thick headed.... yes " Alright Potter, let's see how golden your 4th birthday really was, shall we?"
"No, please" Harry wisperd his eyes had gone wide and his face went white but Severus was already angry and, as determined as he was that Harry learn this and survive the Dark Lord, he didn't notice the boy backing awayfrom him.
"Legilimence" it hit Snape like mac truck. The loneliness was crushing... the overpowering dark and the stench of urine.. he had expected party favors and cake and... but not the overwhelming loneliness... and the darkness and the cupboard door... a locked cupboard door and a cot... no toys, no smiling faces... no balloons and candles and the loneliness overwhelming, crushing loneliness... and filth. "No, this can't be right" Snape began to flip through the memories like a browser with too many windows open hoping for this to be an isolated incident, but it wasn't; the memories just got worse. Until... Harry's back... How could you Petunia? How could you do this to your own nephew? To Lily's child?
Harry began to fight back against Severus then, pushing him out of his mind fighting for dominance. Snape, overcome by what he had seen and wanting nothing more than to be gone from this place, let him win. But he left Harry markers to learn from, now that he had reference points. How could he cause more pain after seeing that? How could he continue... but the child must learn.
Lily's child...
"Harry" Severus began to reach out to him but, they weren't friends. They didn't like each other. Harry Potter wouldn't have liked the idea of Snape offering comfort, he would have seen it as pity. Severus pulled himself upright and sneered at the thought of the Dursleys and their constant struggle to seem "normal". As if abusing a child could ever be "normal".
That old man had better be in his office.... He had also be ready to explain a few things... My friends child... in that place...
"Remain here until I return from the Headmasters" Harry Potter had pulled himself upright and was huddled on his stool at the potions table with his head in his hands. He nodded at the Potions Master without looking up.
He's pale, even for Potter. Severus notices.
On his way out Snape lit the fire and had the elves bring pumpkinjuice and chocolate biscuits to the classroom; to his friends child. He still didn't like him, but...
Albus... how could you please tell me you didn't know...
This might take a while...