Depressing One Shots

Because Of You

I've always been the type of guy to have trust issues. Ever since I was old enough to gain some sense, I trusted nobody.

Life was lonely. When I was 5, I began going to school and colouring in on my own while everyone had friends. When I was 11, I was given the choice of 3 friends to be in the same class as in high school, but left it blank; there was nobody who would even want to go with me. When I was 13, I picked what I was going to do for my exams, picked what narrowed down my potential career options, and didn't have to worry about who was there, since I would be alone anyway. To be honest, my existence wasn't even acknowledged by people, nobody was nice or nasty, I was just there.

One day, a new boy came to our school - a boy similar to me - and I fell in love at first sight. He was so lovely and attractive: blonde, curly hair, nice eyebrows, my age (15), tall. His name was Caleb. Before this, I had never believed in love at first sight. I never even considered dating guys before he came into my life.

We were both similar, and maybe that's why we became friends. Maybe that's why I opened my mouth for the first time in that hell hole of a school. I don't know, but I ended up speaking to him.

Our friendship grew and grew, my secret love for him always lingering, until I went to his house, for what must have been the millionth time, and Caleb confessed.

"I'm sorry if this is a shock, but I love you. Like genuinely. I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"I feel the same way,"

"Oh my god, really?"

"Why wouldn't I with someone as attractive and polite as you?"

I was silenced by his kiss, and after that day, he was my boyfriend.

It was so fun for the time we were together, and it made me unbelievably happy. Happier than I ever had been, or ever thought I'd be.

For once, I enjoyed someone's company. We stayed together for 2 years! I was happier. Until one extreme event, which changed my life, took place.

It was a Saturday, and I was preparing to go to Caleb's house that night. Since it was his birthday, I wanted to surprise him. I told him that I would still be on holiday, but really I was secretly going to see him and make him happy. He said he had no plans, so I thought it was okay to go around. I had a key of my own for his house. I could have just opened the door, and entered quickly, then see the look on his face when he saw it was me.

What went down was extremely different to the plan.

I walked to his, with all of his gifts and balloons and things. I was excited. As soon as I got to his door, I shook off all feelings and acted as I normally would. After unlocking the door, I went upstairs, quieter than I have ever moved before, and with more caution than you could imagine.

Sometimes, surprises turn out badly in the end. I learnt from my mistakes.

Bursting into his room, I smiled for less than a second, until I saw what was going on. Another girl from our school, one with really bad eyebrows, was naked on his bed, and he was inside of her. I ran away, the shock and pain washing over me. As soon as he saw me, he got off her and ran after me. 

"Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it. Have this." I spat, before shoving his gifts at him.

"Wait, I can explai -"

"I don't want any of your stupid explanations! Leave me alone. Never speak to me again. I trusted you, Caleb."

With that, I ran out of his house, straight back to my own, and cried for all I was worth.

Back at Caleb's house, he kicked the girl out, got dressed, and got into his car. Then, he stopped off at the shop to buy a 'sorry' card, wrote it and began his route to my house. Now, what happened next, nobody at all is sure of, but my theory is that he got so angry with himself he lacked focus for driving. Basically, he went through a red light and a lorry drove right into the side of his car, meaning instant death.

I heard of this news the following day. The pain was overwhelming. I couldn't move, or speak, or even live properly after that day. It was unbearable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From this story, I learnt some things. From Caleb.

Because of Caleb, I learnt that I should never trust anyone, no matter how much they prove to be trustworthy. Things can change at any moment.

Because of Caleb, I learnt to maintain focus through the toughest parts in life. This got me amazing results by the end of my studies.

Because of Caleb, I can deal with anything life throws at me. His death made me stronger, and now I think I could survive almost anything life throws at me.

Because of him, I am afraid. Afraid of what could happen, afraid of what did happen.

I blame myself for what took place, and although it wasn't my fault, I can't really help it, can I?