Shock

-34-

Immediately, the crowd started murmuring again, but the woman wasn't finished.

"Think about it!" she said, "An earthquake in London, how common is that?"

A second figure appeared next to her, tugging on her hand. Looking closer, I realised it was Andrew, the boy from my elementary school I'd seen around earlier. He was talking quietly, so I couldn't hear what he was saying, but as far as I could understand from reading his lips, the woman was his mum.

I elbowed my way through the crowd to try to get closer to the two and hopefully catch a part of their conversation. As I was doing so, I wondered why I was so interested. I'd found my family, they were safe. The next logical move would be to spend some time with them, get some rest and wait until it was safe to go home again. But I knew why. I wanted someone to blame. I wanted someone to take responsibility for the hurt and loss the earthquake had caused. When I reached them, Andrew was trying to convince his mum to step down from the chair she was perched on.

"You can't just spew those ridiculous theories here, mum! People will get scared."

"They should be scared," his mum replied, still not stepping down, "We should unite against this corrupt system. That's the only way to stop it."

Most of the people that had surrounded Andrew's mum seemed to have lost interest and backed away. Andrew sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. When he looked up,his eyes found me.

"Oh, Charlie? Hey, I didn't know you were here."

"Yeah, I've only been here for a few hours now so..."

"Ah. I see. Uhm, sorry about my mum, by the way." He lowered his voice, presumably so she wouldn't hear.

"She can be a bit... extravagant."

"No, that's okay! That's actually what I came here for."

His expression changed from 'hey, nice to see you' to 'oh, no, you too?'.

"Don't tell me you believe all that conspiracy theory bullocks?"

"No, I just... I just wondered what she meant when she said humans did this. I mean, how can someone cause an earthquake?"

"They can't. It's just some stupid theory she made up."

"Yeah, but what if it's more than that?" I insisted. "What if she's right?"

Andrew shook his head.

"How? How would that work, exactly?"

I stayed silent. I had to agree it sounded a bit crazy, but I couldn't help but be intrigued.

"Sorry," Andrew said finally, "It's not your fault, it's just... You know she does this sort of thing all the time? She'll come up with some far-fetched theory and try to convince anyone who'll listen that's it's the truth. It's bloody annoying."

I pressed my lips together.

"I guess you're right. It doesn't make much sense, really."

He nodded, and his hard expression vanished.

"So, hey! Haven't seen you in a while, how've you been?"

"Good," I suppose it wasn't a complete lie. I really had been good, right up until the earthquake. I debated telling him about Paisley, but since I didn't know how to break the news, we just made small talk for a few minutes before I excused myself to get back to the cot. Now that the commotion had died down, it was easier to make my way back. The rest of my family was already back there with Nathan and Haley.

"What was that all about?" Nathan asked.

I looked back at Andrew and his mum.

"Oh, just some conspiracy theorist looking for a thrill I guess..."

"D'you know her?"

"I know her son. Went to primary school with me."

"Ah." He offered me the apple I'd put down earlier, while taking a bite from his own.

"Thanks."

We sat down on the cot next to Peter and Haley, who were attacking two bread rolls like carnivores devouring their prey.

I studied the bandage on my right hand as I twirled my apple in the other.

"Does it hurt?" Nathan asked.

"Kind of. It itches really badly."

"Makes sense," he nodded. We were both quiet for a while.

"So what now?" Nathan eventually spoke up.

"I don't know. I mean, I guess we stay here until it's safe out?"

"I guess."

Across from us, mum was cutting Cam's orange into slices whilst talking to dad. Nearby, children were playing tag and I could see from the look on Cam's face that he wanted to join them.

As I studied the scenes around me, I could feel Nathan's eyes on my face.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just... You don't look as happy as I thought you would."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and turned my head to face Nathan.

"I don't feel as happy as I thought I would." I shook my head.

"I don't get it... We spent all this time trying to find my family, and now that we have..."

"You're not happy."

"No, I am. I am. Just not ecstatic. It's almost like I've blocked it out. At least partially." I let my gaze drift off.

"I'm sorry, you've been so helpful and here I am complaining while my family is safe and yours-"

I cut myself off as soon as I realised what I'd said.

"It's okay. I'm sure they're safe. And even if they're not..."

Though his voice trailed off, it was almost like I could hear him add I don't care at the end.

I sank my teeth into the apple, not really tasting it. Outside, rain had started pouring again, reminding me of that afternoon at the bus stop.

"Maybe it's just guilt." I muttered.

"Huh?"

"Guilt. Because I dragged you guys along without ever even stopping to think it through." I could feel my heart rate quickening as I started to say what had been on my mind for a while now.

"We were on the road for days. And for what? My family's safe. They didn't even need my help, and now Paisley... Paisley's dead because of me. If we hadn't come along-"

"She would have stayed in that old building and very likely be buried by the collapsing boulders and debris or she would have frozen to death."

He tilted his head to the side to look at me.

"It's not your fault, Charlie."

I looked away.

"But Grace..."

"Is in good hands. Of course I would have liked to stay with her, but... Haley needed this. Peter did too. You made the right decision bringing us here."

I hoped he was right.