Three weeks ago, everybody came back for Finn's funeral. I can't stand to look at my dress that I wore to his funeral. It's not important on how he died. All I know is that Mr. Schuester made a special memorial.
We sat in the choir room. Everybody did not smile. It was sad hearing that a nineteen year old died. All in the same year as my brother. It was a huge set back from our preparation for Nationals. Many of our previous glee club members came back.
"Okay, this week, we will be singing songs that Finn sang or songs that remind you of him." Mr. Schuester announced. "We will begin tomorrow."
"Mr. Schuester, I can't wait until tomorrow. I've been balling my eyes out for weeks, and this can't wait." Mercedes got up.
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Everybody had tears in their eyes. I feel bad for Rachel. She dated him for three years, and she dumped him for a drug dealer. She told me she feels responsible for his death. She didn't come to the memorial.
I lost one of my friends. He was the one who convinced me to join Glee with Sam. He never treated me bad even when I hung out with Karofski. He supported me when my brother died. He helped everybody with issues they had.
I walked passed the memorial. I looked at all the nice things people posted on notes they taped. I paced away.
Behind the bleachers we planted a tree with a little, bronze plaque. I sat underneath the bleachers. I hated if people saw me cry. The only person who saw me cry were my parents, and my siblings. Even when I fractured my knee, I didn't cry. Sebastian has never seen me cry. Finn was the only one who has seen me cry.
"Hey." I familiar voice greeted.
"How'd you know I was here?" I asked as I wiped tears from my cheeks.
"Blaine thought you would be here." He answered. "How are you doing?" Sebastian brought up.
"One of my best friends funeral was three weeks ago, and I don't know how long I could keep it together." I explained. "He was the one who convinced me to sign up for glee club when I was a sophomore along with Sam. He guided me on the right path, and now he is gone." I burst out crying. I hid my face in my hands. Sebastian sat next to me, hugged me tight.
"I didn't really know Finn, but I knew he was a great friend to you, and I treated him like crap last year." He looked off into the grass. "I should have been a kinder person."
"Listen to me, not everybody in glee club thinks you have heart, but I know you have a kind heart." I disagreed. "I just can't believe he is gone. I don't get why god decided to let him go to heaven when he is nineteen years old." I stuttered. "The funny thing is, when I first came to this school, he was the first person that was nice to me until I joined glee club and soccer. He's gone through crap for three years by being in glee, and he stuck with it. I just don't get why he had to leave us before Nationals." I added. "For some reason, I feel like it's my fault." I commented.
"It's not your fault, his time must have been up. Don't blame it on you. He wouldn't want that." Sebastian encouraged.
"I know, but he was the only one who knew my kryptonite. I would tell you, but I don't even know what it is. He figured it out the first day he met me." I explained.
"Tessa, listen to me, it's not your fault. It came unexpectedly. He would want you to be brave, and not keep all of your feelings on your shoulders. He would also want you to let out all of your emotions. Just let out your sadness." He added.
"He was my best friend!" I cried even harder. Sebastian just hugged me when I was curled up with my knees and arms covering my face.
I don't know how much I could hold in this pain. I decided to sing a song to the glee club.
[Tessa:]
If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow
I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when
She stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it oughta be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life,
Well, I've had just enough time
If I die young bury me in satin.
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life,
Well I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There's a boy here in town says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
[Tessa with New Directions:]
The sharp knife of a short life,
[Tessa:]
Well I've had just enough ([Santana with New Directions:] time)
Ooh yeah
Ooh whoa
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts
Oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young
[Tessa with New Directions:]
Bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
[Tessa (New Directions):]
Uh oh (uh oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh oh)
Go with peace and love
[Tessa with New Directions:]
Gather up your tears
[Tessa:]
Keep 'em in your pocket
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh
[Tessa with New Directions:]
The sharp knife of a short life
[Tessa:]
Well I've had just enough ([Santana with New Directions:] time)
So put on your best boys
And I'll wear my pearls
At the end of the song, I just couldn't keep the tears in. I covered my face, and let it out. Sam came and hugged me as he guided me to the chair next to him that I originally sat in before the song. I couldn't keep it together enough. Sebastian was right, I needed to let it all go. My best friend died months after my brother. It's almost the end of the year, and I've been through too much this year.
