Hopeless- A Trillie fanfiction

No One Knows

He used to brave the world all on his own. He laughed, smiled and pretended that he was alright. But I could see right through him. I knew him inside out. I could see his soul though those eyes, green as the greenest of all grasses. I could see those tears that begged to be shed. He tried to act as if there was nothing wrong with him.

When everything was.

Billie walked into the room, hands in the pockets of his beige pants. Mike grinned. Short-ass trousers.

"What?" Billie asked, eyebrow arched, snapping Mike out of his thoughts. He realised that Billie was saying something.

"—a conclusion or something?" Billie continued, rummaging through the broken cupboard, apparently looking for his socks.

"Huh?" Was Mike's intelligent answer.

Billie turned around and rolled his eyes. "The  auditions for a drummer, dumbass," he said, pissed. "Was anyone good enough?" He returned to the cupboard.

Mike shrugged in an attempt to look carefree. "Not as good as John."

Billie sighed. "What're we gonna do now, man?"

"Relax Bill, everything will be alright," Mike said, trying to comfort him even though he was just as worried himself. Billie just shook his head.

"No, Mike," he said, frown lines forming on his forehead. "Nothing's gonna be alright. Al was right man, we're going nowhere. It's good that he went to college. At least he'll have a future now."

God dammit, Mike thought. I forgot to tell him.

"Billie," Mike said, unsure. "I'm going to college too."

Billie spun around. He looked shocked. It seemed like an eternity before he said those words: "What?" Billie looked at him as if he had cheated. As if it was all his fault.

Mike was annoyed at his reaction. Actually, he was annoyed with himself. He felt guilty. Guilty for not being able to help Billie. Guilty for not being there when Billie needed him the most. Guilty for not being a good brother. Guilty for not being a good friend.

"What what?" He snapped at Billie. "What else do you expect me to do? Shouldn't I be entitled to a good life? Shouldn't I be entitled to a future? What the fuck do you expect me to do? Fuck around and waste my time?"

Billie looked shaken. "I didn't mean— Oh well, it's okay. I mean of course it is your life and you've your own opinions..."

"I'm sorry," Mike said, feeling guiltier than ever. "I just— I don't know man," he confessed. "I just need some time to think. I— I'll talk to you later."

"Fine. I'm going to Gilman. Wanna come?"

"No," Mike said. "I think I'll get some sleep."

"Okay," Billie said, sounding disappointed. "I'll go alone then."