someone like you (johnny gaudreau)

the truth

*May 11th, 2015*

~Kasey~

I'm outside of the dressing rooms of the Honda Centre, leaning against the wall, waiting for Johnny when Sean walks out of the visitors' tunnel. As usual, he's the second last member of the Flames to exit the dressing room. I can see it in his face that he's upset, but he gives me a small smile as he walks towards me.

"Johnny's just talking to Coach." He says as he leans down to give me a quick hug, "He'll be out soon."

I nod and rub his shoulder as he pulls away, "You played well, Sean. Don't be too hard on yourself."

He manages another small smile, "Thanks, Kasey."

Sean heads outside, and a minute later, Johnny comes into view. Despite scoring his 4th goal of the playoffs to cap off an incredible rookie season, a goal by Corey Perry in overtime gave the Ducks a 4-1 series win. The Flames' wonderful run has come to an end, and Johnny looks absolutely crushed.

I hold out my arms, and he doesn't say anything as he hugs me tightly. As he pulls away, his eyes are full of sadness and disappointment, and my heart sinks. Losing is always tough for him, but this is a big loss, and he's more upset that I've ever seen him.

The sound of raindrops hitting the roof is the only thing I hear during the ride back to the hotel. Johnny just stares out the window as I drive, the expression on his face as bleak and sad as the weather outside.

He still doesn't say anything when we get back to the hotel. A door opens as we walk past it, and Josh Jooris walks out. He gives Johnny a hug, giving me a sympathetic look over his shoulder. When they pull away, Johnny continues walking, still completely silent.

I start to follow him, and Josh grabs my arm, "Good luck with him." He whispers. I give him a small smile before following Johnny to his room. Sean isn't there, but he knows how Johnny is, so he often makes himself scarce after losses.

While Johnny changes out of his suit and into a t-shirt and sweatpants, I make each of us a cup of tea. I put his on the little table beside his bed before going to change out of my jersey and jeans. I pull on my plaid pyjama shorts and Boston University sweater and tie my hair into a bun, then grab my copy of This Lullaby. Johnny has found a random movie on TV and is holding his cup of tea as he watches. After tough losses, he likes to be left alone until he's ready to talk about it, so I sit on Sean's bed and open my book, sipping my tea as I read.

It's about half an hour before Johnny finally speaks, "Kasey?"

I look up from my book to see him looking back at me. His eyes are glossy, and he still looks upset.

He looks down at his hands, then back up at me, "Can you come sit with me?"

I close my book and climb off Sean's bed, sitting beside Johnny on his. He looks like he wants to continue, so I don't say anything until he does.

"I really wanted to win that game." He's looking down at his hands, and it kills me to see him so upset.

I rub his shoulder, "I know, Johnny."

"We could've won. We should've won. We just let it get away. It's just-" he sighs, "It just really sucks."

I find his hand and lace our fingers together, "Believe me when I say I know how it feels. We were one goal away from winning U18 worlds that year. I know it's hard, but you can't be so hard on yourself. You put your team ahead. I'd say you played an amazing game, it just wasn't meant to be. Use it as motivation for next year."

He looks up at me for a few seconds, then squeezes my hands, "You're right, Kasey. Thank you."

I smile at him, "Anytime, Johnny. I'm always here."