Dan Howell Imagines

Dan Howell x Reader | Existential Crisis

Description : Reader comes home to a troubled Dan, and helps him through an existential crisis
Warnings : Fluff, Swearing
Word Count : 1015
|||
I push my back into the couch as I adjust the long quilt blanket that laid across my body. The sun glares through my eyelids as the morning comes. I passed out on my couch last night when I got home from a date with my boyfriend, Dan Howell.

My stomach growls signalling that it's time for breakfast and I pull myself off the couch. My kitchen is bare so I decide to just head to the shops for the day. Before I go I get in the shower and scrub off what was left of last night's makeup. When I get out I throw my hair in a bun, shrug on a sweater with some jeans, and head out the door.

It was perfect outside, sunny, but cool enough to not sweat the entire day. My first stop consisted of breakfast. I went to my favourite Café, and ordered (favourite breakfast) with some hot chocolate. Next I headed to the Farmer's Market, grabbing some fruits and veggies, along with some baked goods as well. I got side tracked by all the wonderful stalls there, and found myself staying for quite a long time.

Eventually tired of carrying so many bags, I grabbed a cab home and texted Dan.

To: Dan ❤️
Hey love, I'm on my way home. Do you want me to stop by later?

I shut off my phone and exited the cab, paying him as well. I trudged up to my apartment and started to put my groceries away. When I finished I noticed Dan hadn't texted back. I shrugged, Dan usually messages straight away...

I waited longer but started to get worried, so I texted him again.

To: Dan ❤️
Dan? Are you okay? Do you want me to bring you some dinner?

I stood waiting for a reply, and as I was about to shut off my phone again, a message pops back.

From: Dan ❤️
pleas

I was confused at the lack of motivation put into the message, but went with it. I went to my room and put a bit of makeup on, then left to grab him something from the snack shop down the street. It was almost 7:00pm so I put on a coat to hide from the cool London breeze.

When I arrived at the shop, I grabbed Dan a sandwich, and me a toasted bagel. I noticed some beautifully decorated cookies in the display, and ordered some too. Lastly, I got us both some hot chocolate, and went on my way. I hailed a cab, and climbed in, giving him Dan's address. The ride was slow, we seemed to hit every possible red light that we could have on the way there. After almost 30 minutes, we finally arrived, and I practically jumped out of the cab, throwing him £20. The hot chocolate was almost dumped onto my shirt as I juggled the food, trying to climb Dan's stairwell. In time, I reached the top and let myself in. I quickly ran to set down the toppling food items on the table, before tugging off my coat and throwing it over a chair.

"Dan! I'm here!" I yell, looking around. Most of the time when I walk into the apartment, Dan basically dives into my arms, unless he's recording a video. But I don't hear him, I don't hear anything, in fact. Not a shower running, toilet flushing, not even Phil. Cautiously, I walk around the house to find him. Maybe he was hiding around a corner to scare me? After a few minutes of looking, I began to worry. Where was he?

"Daniel?" I yell, walking into his room. For a moment, I think I hear a grunt. I notice that the covers are disheveled, so I walk around the bed. There I find Dan, face down on the ground with his arms laid beside him.

"Dan? Hun are you okay?"

In return, I get a long groan, and Dan flips over onto his back, folding his hands together on his stomach. His head lazily flops towards me, and Dan gazes into my eyes, his brown eyes filled with worry. I sit down beside him and set my hand into his hair, stroking it gingerly.

"Oh Dan, what am I going to do with you." I mumble. His eyes float closed, but he isn't asleep, he's just trapped in his mind. After a few moments, he speaks up.

"My youth is slipping away as time slips like a torrenting waterfall through my fingers towards inevitable death."

I've never dealt with Dan much during these moments, so I'm not really sure how. In the moment, I feel just being with him would hopefully make him feel better, so I lay down beside him. He doesn't move so I just take hold of one of his hands. His eyes move open and face me.

"One day, everyone I love will be dead. Y/n, I don't want you to die."

"Dan, I'm not going anywhere. I swear." I almost whisper the words.

"Does my life really matter outside of myself?" He says quietly.

"Dan, of course it does. It matters to me. I love you will all my heart. Even if our lives are terribly short and death is inevitable, at least we get to spend this one life together. I wouldn't have it any other way." I'm about to continue when Dan rolls over and hovers himself overtop of me. We stare at each other for a moment, then kisses me sweetly. I push my hand through his hair, and he lifts himself off me before it could become too, you know.

"I love you." He says.

"Come on, the hot chocolate will get cold." I respond. Dan darts out of the room and to the food.

|||

Hey!

My BBC Sherlock Imagines book is at 80 reads! What!!!! That's amazing, thank you guys.

I hope you enjoyed this imagine!

May we meet again.

- S.W.