Say My Name

Hiding Inside Myself

Disclamer: I don't own Bleach. I'm not that awesome. But Grimmjow is. And he'll always be. ^_^

...

!~oOo~!

"Hiding Inside Myself"

I've been so alone all my life
I couldn't give my heart to anyone
Hiding in myself was a man
Who needed to be held like everyone

!~oOo~!

...

"Grimm, are you now ready for the school trip?"

We're both in the rooftop of our school. The wind is blowing my hair away as I stood by the railings, staring far away, to the unknown. Clouds are moving really fast above us. I sighed, I love windy days.

I turned my head to look at the guy that is now sitting 2 meters away from me when I heard no answer from him. I guess he noticed me looking at him, that's why he immediately blew the smoke that he's holding inside his mouth. He smiled.

"Yeah. everythin's set."

He grinned. That made me frown. He started smoking when we entered high school. He told me that he wanna be more 'manly' and that girls love guys who are 'smoking hot'. He's already hot, he said. That's why he's going to smoke.

I told him that I don't agree with that. My father is a doctor. So I grew up knowing the hazardous effect of smoking. And so he promised that he's going to stay away from me whenever he smokes. Two meters is our allowed distance.

My frown deepened from the memory.

"I told you to stop smoking. That's bad for your health."

"Yes mom."

He chuckled as he stood up, killed his cigarette and threw it away. The wind carried it further towards the parking lot of our school.

"Woah.. That's awesome!"

I heard him say. I sighed again as I looked back to the mountains that I was staring at a while ago. He can sometimes be so childish.

"Hey Ichi, ya' got any problem? Ya've been awfully quiet since we got 'ere."

I turned around, then I sat down slowly sliding my back for support on the railings. He immediately sat down beside me, looking at me with those curious ultra super sonic blue eyes. I sighed.

"I was just having some nightmares these days.. I.. I can't sleep."

Grimmjow turned his gaze towards the door that's opposite of where we are sitting.

"That dream where we're fightin' those insanely super powerful white guys?"

I nod even though I know that he's not looking at me directly.

"The Quincies."

I whispered, enough for him to hear against the howling wind.

"But it was somehow different this time. We're running away. But they managed to find his way on us. Then.."

Grimmjow turned his gaze back to me. One of his eyebrows raised asking me to continue. I swallowed, then I looked away from those smouldering blue eyes.

"..then he, k-killed you.."

I saw him on my peripheral view. I already know what he's going to say. I don't want to hear him say that I'm stupid. So I continued, blocking him.

"..I was so scared Grimm. I thought that you're going to leave me forever. T-There were so many b-blood. Then I woke up."

I sighed. It's getting harder for me to breathe. Like there's a really big lump on my throat, blocking the air from getting into to my windpipe. Like someone punched my chest, forcing all air from my lungs out. I unconsciously reached for my chest. I wanna make sure that my chest is still intact. I've been holding all of these emotions in since last week. Never thought that I will hyperventilate from releasing it all on Grimmjow.