Six Feet Under

six

We had been in college for about three months, Eileen's twenty first birthday is tomorrow. Nick texted me about the party, asking if I knew the plan. It was a surprise party, a 'lit' surprise party as Nick called it.
At eleven, your going to bring Leezy and we'll yell 'surprise motherfucker!!'
Leezy? And how about just 'surprise!'
that's boring, but okay. See you tonight!

I turned my phone off and sighed. "What's wrong?" Eileen asked. She just woke up from her nap. "I just- I miss Noah." I said, I didn't lie. I do miss Noah.  "Who's Noah?" she asked, yawning. "He was my best friend back in Florida..." I said, picking at the maroon nail polish. "I thought we were your bestfriends.." Eileen frowned. "You guy are! I just miss him." I explained. "Ohh," she got the gist. "Did he take your virginity?" Okay nevermind. "No! No, I haven't.. like.. actually... went.. there." I paused. "Oh no.. your.. your a virgin, I thought I dreamed that the other night!" she said. I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment, I looked down. "Hey, don't be ashamed of that, it's good to keep it until your ready, how old are you?" she asked. "Nineteen, twenty on the twentieth." I said. "Oh.. okay. Thats okay, what's the furthest you've been, I mean you had to if done something else right?" she said, sitting up. "I uh.. well- I onc- no.. um," I stopped and thought. I've never done anything. "Eileen.. I've never done anything." I said, she started grinning. "Oh girl, you've got to be kidding me! I can't believe it!! Anastasia, your so fucking hot, who would not even kiss you?" she yelled. "I don't know.." I shook my head. "Man, I honestly can't believe this." she said, stretching. "Let's go to Frazier's." she jumped up.

When we got to Frazier's, Nick called me. "It's my mom, I'll be right back.." I held up my phone and she nodded. "You want your usual?" She asked and I nodded. I walked outside and leaned against the wall. "Hello?" I answered. "Ana, hey. I- can you come over.. please?" he sounded nervous. "Yeah, were on our way." I said. "Were?" he asked. "Eileen and I," I replied. "Just you.. please." he let out a breath. "Yeah, yeah. I'm on my way." I said and hung up.
I walked back in, Eileen was already seated. "Hey, I'm about to- I need to go, I'll see you back at the dorm." I grabbed my food and laid down a few bills, "Wait- Ana!" she called but I was already gone.

When I knocked on Nicks door, I got this sick feeling. He didn't answer. I turned the knob and opened the door. He was laid on his bed, in a fetal position. "Ni- what the heck, Nick!" I raced over to him. He was crying, his face tinted with pain. "Nicholas, baby what's wrong?" I went full mom mode on him. He shook his head and shoved it in the pillow. I climbed onto his bed, rubbing his back. "Nick. Answer me please, what's wrong?" I asked. "I-I.. I don't know. I just feel-.. like.. my world is crumbling down. My chest hurts and-and I can't think straight." he closed his eyes. "It's called anxiety. I get it all the time, you just need to breathe." I said, trailing his back. "I can't." he started hyperventilating. I laid down beside him, pulling him into me. I rubbed his back, hummed, and played with his hair. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me. Soon, we both fell asleep.

I woke up to my phone blowing up. I groaned and answered. "Hello?" My voice was groggy. "Anastasia! I have been calling you for three hours now! Where have you been, I called your dorm and some guy answered, are you having sex Anastasia?" her tone was harsh. "Moth- no! Mom, I'm with a friend." I said, sitting up. "For three hours? And you didn't even bother to check your phone? It's been three months since you've talked to me." she said. "I fell asleep and I'm sorry that I have classes." I climbed off of his bed, he moaned in his sleep. "So your telling me your classes are three months long? Anastasia, maybe it was a mistake for you to be so far away-" I cut her off. "I have to go. Bye." I hung up. I inhaled and rolled my eyes. "Hey.." my eyes fell on Nick. "Hi." I said. "What's wrong?" he asked. I shook my head. I looked over at the clock, "I should go, I have to round up Eileen." And with that, I left.
-
I had Eileen get dressed for 'dinner'. "Why are we going at ten? It's al little late don't you think?" I drove. "Are you complaining?" I looked over at her, she smiled shaking her head. I giggled.
When I pulled into the driveway, she was confused. When we walked through the front door, everyone yelled. "Happy birthday motherfucker!" Not the best line. "Oh my God!! This is crazy, all this for me?!" she looked at everyone. "Happy birthday Leezy," Nick pulled her into a hug. "Nick! You guys! I- I am so happy!!!" she pulled me into the hug. Nick's lips were inches from mine, I pulled away. "Okay, let's get fucking drunk!!" Eileen yelled.
I watched Leen take shots, Nick smoke out of a bong, Aenisa snort a line and Marisa shoot up her arm. I stayed back, not leaving my comfort bubble. "Nisa, make me a star!" Eileen yelled over the music. Aenisa held up a thumb and began dragging the white powder. I looked over at Nick, his eyes were a deep red. Marisa's eyes rolled back in her head, her body twitched. Aenisa rubbed her nose as Eileen leaned down. Jack held the pills up to his mouth and threw his head back. Someone held a spoon up, a lighter underneath it, inhaling the smoke. Some other people were popping pills, one calling it Molly. "Yo, Ana. Wanna try?" Allegra yelled, smiling. She held up another bong. Everyone turned to look at me, I felt like I was under a light, being asked a million questions. They all had that look. The look of ' Your not going to do it, your a baby'. I saw Nick look up. "Sure."